Belief vs Reality
It seems like a battle, but it’s not at all.
I worry about my health too frequently. As my wife points out, this will probably cause me far more pain than any medical problem ever could. Over the years, I have come a long way towards recognizing this. However, I don’t see how I could ever actually overcome this ailment. The reason for this is not a lack of belief in my own abilities, but rather the way my mind works. I see risk and I extrapolate it outwards. I imagine what living that risk would be like. This leads me to feel as though I’ve truly experienced these moments that were completely imagined.
One belief I have is that my mindset is needed in a society, or at least — it was. In small groups, years and years ago, there was probably a demand for a person who would become overly concerned about risks with low odds. They would have potentially been useful to predict what future dangers could arise. This however, is my belief, and I have no idea where it belongs in reality.
Since my current concern began back towards the end of January, I have seen my worries become validated for one of the first times. I joke with my family by saying, “So.. I’ve been in this world for awhile. Take some time to adjust, you’re welcome here, but it’s a scary place.”
This paranoia has perhaps been beneficial because I was able to buy a few extra boxes of pasta before the hoards descended — however I really wish I would have trusted my paranoia more fully — a few extra boxes of pasta does not last long apparently. Oh well, hindsight I suppose.
And this is where I come to wonder about my beliefs vs the world’s reality. This past weekend, I mostly ignored the news. I’d been worrying about my family’s health and had convinced myself we already have Covid. While I’m not sure if we do/did, our symptoms are yet to escalate towards anything intense. But yesterday and this morning, some of my own personal concerns began to alleviate. I felt positive as I began to believe that we don’t currently have Covid. But this is where belief can be so dangerous. Being hopeful is one thing, but I found that I began to believe everywhere was doing better — not just in my own home. I first felt this a few weeks ago when I walked outside, the sun was shining, and it was almost impossible to believe the world was beginning to crumble. Obviously this belief could be considered somewhat fringe worthy as I’m stuck at home, but what if you were a politician who shared a similar period of days? Would you be more likely to make a less dramatic call because you suddenly felt hope? Is our best course of action to actually avoid feeling hopeful?
Or imagine everyone who’s been watching their stock portfolios plummet. If they’d taken the weekend off from watching the news, then they might find hope in investing at this very vague time. If anyone needs to see the true epitome of this, just look at the tangerine muppet — that guy has belief for miles and it does absolutely nothing but cause problems.
I guess my point in this is that over the coming months, we will all entertain our wildest imaginations, but what’s ignored is that we will also find intense hope that could very easily lead to a belief in everything being fine. Perhaps on one of these “good” days, you might see a neighbor and dismiss the worry just to be friendly. Or perhaps you’d say, I can go to the grocery store — of course it’s fine.
In the end, I think the best option is to make choices based on cautioned reason rather than emotion. Emotion will cause panicked people to rush to Costco and wait in thousand person lines. Emotion will cause people to go online and rant about how a lock down is overkill. Emotion will cause people to begin conversations with questions about what is the value of a human life — I’ve had people bring this up to me recently as an argument for why the economy needs to be saved above all else.
I don’t know what the future holds, but I recognize that my own mind should not be the sole source of knowledge and reason that leads to my decisions. If experts say a lock down is needed, then please consider them at least as valid as your own mind. If they say other things, please don’t make this the time that you decide to take a stand.
As a person who’s struggled with recognizing real risk from imagined, there is no definitive way to know. The best course of action is to look for the person who knows best, and if all the scientists and doctors in the world are screaming, “Danger!”, then please don’t dismiss it.
Best of luck to all, but now I have to head to the liquor store because I need a beer — this is a joke, but a decision like this could easily be made before rational thinking showed up.
