Talking about addictions
The addiction is never bigger than yourself. The addiction has only found ways to live within you.
So, technically, you host the addiction and decide to invite more of them and even let them reign over you.
The misconceptions of addictions
Unfortunately, you usually do not choose that consciously, which is one of the mean tricks of addictions: they operate in the subconscious! They make you feel like you still have control, which is true, and yet, somehow, you find yourself trapped time and time again.
There is this saying:
Addiction is the only disease that tells you that you don´t have it.
So, when you ask yourself if you are addicted, it is difficult to decide which voice to listen to:
The panic voice that says, “as an alcoholic, you will never be allowed another drink,” or “alcoholism is a deadly disease — alcoholics die younger and quite often from suicide.”
Or would you rather listen to the giggling, familiar voice that says, “ah, one cigarette or one glass of wine won´t kill me? And if it doesn´t kill me, it´ll make me stronger.“ Of course, the second voice is the one that you went partying with for decades hunting for the pleasures of some good old Rock´n Roll.
Both, the benefits and the costs of every addiction are manifold; you can immerse yourself in them.
The causes for addiction
A couple of months ago, I read this brilliant article from Matthew Ward on Medium, where he wrote those sentences:
Why had no one told me that it was habitual normal drinking that led to alcoholism?
Regular use of an addictive drug leads to addiction. Substance abuse is the consequence, once addicted, not the cause.
I appreciate this article because you see that the causes for the disease alcoholism aren´t always and necessarily in your psyche, but in your unconscious habits.
Newer research results suggest the metabolism of neutotransmitters, too, being a causal factor in the wicked game of addiction.
However, wanting to find out WHY somebody became an alcoholic while the person still drinks is the wrong effort at the wrong time in most cases. Even if you know why you drink, the knowledge does not stop you from drinking. It might turn out that it fuels the addiction even more.
Blaming the childhood, the parents, the spouse, the environment, or other extrinsic (and even intrinsic) reasons is just prolonging and enabling the addiction. There is no point in searching for anything but abstinence in the first place and time.
Whatever reasons come up, they are probably still not resolved, and therefore will drag you back into the downward spiral.
It is precisely the downward spiral that might give you the impression that the addiction is bigger than you.
Yet, it is not!
So, confidently skip the question, “Why did I get addicted?”
It is negligible in the beginning.
When YOU choose to step out of the addiction
the downward spiral is allowed to evaporate.
How to get out of addiction
To see the accurate proportions again, I suggest to start asking yourself:
- How do I want to live my life?
- What will I gain from sobriety?
- What are the reasons to quit the addiction?
- How can I free myself from addiction?
You can look at addictions as guests: they come, and if they don´t go voluntarily, then you can throw them out.
YOU are the manifestation of EVERYTHING in a human spacesuit, whereas addiction is an ego game. You might want to take a deeper look into this when you are sober, and that is ok.
It is only a false belief that addiction is bigger than you.
That belief is not only strong,
But also wrong!