Trying to avoid school shootings by looking at how students connect with each other

Following Columbine, one teacher started using a simple tool to identify students in her class who might be at risk of falling through the cracks and in need of a little more support. By showing lots of empathy and support I believe she is making a real difference.

Following the latest school shooting in America there has been lots of questions about how authorities can pick up warning signs and stop such atrocities from happening. It turns out in the latest school shooting case and many of the others, there were many warning signs that should have been picked up by authorities and could have prevented such tragedies form happening.

I saw a story shared on Facebook today and I really loved it. The story I read told the story of a teacher and how they changed the way they teach following the Columbine school shooting. The writer Glennon Doyle Melton was speaking to the teacher who teaches her son and is recounting their conversation in the article.

Below is a direct quote from the article.

“Every Friday afternoon, she asks her students to take out a piece of paper and write down the names of four children with whom they’d like to sit the following week. The children know that these requests may or may not be honored. She also asks the students to nominate one student who they believe has been an exceptional classroom citizen that week. All ballots are privately submitted to her.

And every single Friday afternoon, after the students go home, she takes out those slips of paper, places them in front of her, and studies them. She looks for patterns.

Who is not getting requested by anyone else?
Who can’t think of anyone to request?
Who never gets noticed enough to be nominated?
Who had a million friends last week and none this week?

You see, Chase’s teacher is not looking for a new seating chart or “exceptional citizens.” Chase’s teacher is looking for lonely children. She’s looking for children who are struggling to connect with other children. She’s identifying the little ones who are falling through the cracks of the class’s social life. She is discovering whose gifts are going unnoticed by their peers. And she’s pinning down — right away — who’s being bullied and who is doing the bullying.” — Glennon Doyle Melton

The teacher is not looking to rearrange her classroom and choose a new seating plan for the children. She’s not looking for the most popular children or those that the other children admire. She is in fact looking for lonely children. She’s looking for children who are struggling to connect with other children. She’s identifying the children who are more likely to fall through the cracks of the ‘class’s social life’. She is discovering who is going unnoticed by their peers.

So you might ask why all this is relevant. Well, the teacher started doing this in her classroom straight after Columbine. Why you might ask.

I’m interested in this because it is important for all children in every day life. A young person does not just develop challenging behaviour as it is usually a symptom of something else. There are always patterns and if someone looks carefully they are always there. Someone does not just wake up one day and decide to murder their peers. There is usually a lot that take them to this point.

What the teacher has learned from using her system in the classroom, is that everything including things like love and belonging — has a pattern to it. She finds the patterns, and through those lists she breaks the codes of disconnection. Then she helps ‘lonely’ children get the help they need. It’s a simple equation to her and I really believe it has the potential to make real change in that young person’s life.

The reason why something like this works well is because this teacher has real empathy and love for her students. I feel empathy is often missing is many of the traditional services that deal with young people with challenging behaviours. Many young people come before the police and the judicial system, the mental health services, the traditional health services and there is zero empathy for these young people by many of the professionals they come into contact with. Many are treated with contempt and I really believe if there was real empathy and understanding shown to these young people or adults in the very early days, then things may have been very different.

I’m not saying that anyone should be expected to have empathy for someone who is a school shooter, or a murderer. But I do believe that people have to realize that this person often has had a serious of things that have taken them to this place. And of course not every young person who struggles with their peers will go on to commit such crimes. But I do believe that they may go on to struggle in different ways throughout their life.

I believe that if people are shown empathy and understanding they may go on to be very different people and have many more positive experiences in their life.

More of this please.

You should definitely read the full article, it’s worth your while. You can read it here.

Originally published at unwindyourmind.wordpress.com on February 17, 2018.