The Changing Face of parenting

As we have entered to the 21st century many things have changed, be it be technology advancement, education and even relationships and interpersonal communication.

Nitika Mehra

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Mental Health Arena

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3 min read

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Oct 31, 2017

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Men and women have to survive in this fast paced world and in order to do this a lot of compromises are made in the way. People want to settle down, have a family as soon as they get a job, a stable career. But the competition is so much that they don’t get time for even themselves till at least 5 years. With the alarming increase in population, real estate, medical and education industry have gone up too. This calls for a lot of savings and investment on an individual’s part. The problem doesn’t end here. Even after marriage people or better say couples are struggling to create financial security for the family which ensures medical cover and the list of other EMIs also is endless. Apart from the stress and less time for oneself the one thing that suffers too is proper parenting.

But as we know mammals are known to take care of their offspring, humans do their best to be a good parent despite all this. From sending the children to the best school and skills class, they also ensure that frequent family dinner and outings are planned. But being a psychologist and a keen observer of society I feel still there is a something lacking. It has started to show in the psychology of children we come across. More and more children are getting into addictions, depressive and anxiety disorders, dependencies on outsiders, inferiority complexes, reckless and rebellious behavior. The prevalence of these problems is increasing day by day. The anti- addictions campaigns are doing really good work, but sadly there is insignificant progress. And will they really help until the parent takes charge?

Every parent wants his child to become the best and be able to tackle every problem he faces in life. The child is admitted in the best school, after school he goes to coaching classes so as to ensure best grades, after that he goes to different skill classes so he is not left behind in any area. When parents are at their workplaces, he spends time in a crutch because mommy and daddy both have to go to work and ensure they are financially able to provide him with all the educational and co-curricular facilities. But somewhere we forget that when a child is small, he also needs emotional support, physical presence and teachings from the parent exclusively. Absence of this makes him irritable; lose concentration and rebellious behavior at home and school. The child may not be able to express this in front of you as he is not that emotionally mature. But as parents we need to see this that our child, especially in the early years needs our unconditional love, support and presence. No pre-school, school or skill class will be able to educate him so much that you can do! Your love and encouragement makes him feel validated, and no other accomplishment would encourage him that much as much as your praise and pride in having him/her as your son/daughter.

So we need to strike a balance between this rush in our lives and the delicate and sensitive lives of our little ones. I am not suggesting you to quit your jobs and give all of the time to your child, but at least ignoring that half an hour of news bulletin/ chatting on the phone to give him a wholly worthy presence of yours to engage in an active conversation with the child. And lastly don’t be dependent upon the institutions where he studies because they can promote your child’s overall development but not spiritual /moral development at all times. So you need to be in touch with the institutions and fulfil your responsibility as well. Our improvement as a parent will not only make your child a happy one, but will also make him understand how to be a better parent when his time comes!