4 Signs of ADHD That I Ignored
They didn’t seem like red flags at first, but hindsight is 2020
It was early 2020. I was having a ton of trouble focusing on my work as an optometric technician. I was forgetting to eat and drink water. I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off trying to work two jobs at once. I finally started seeing a new psychiatrist and I was finally diagnosed with ADHD after nearly a decade of suspicion.
Turns out I had been exhibiting signs of ADHD for most of my life, but the symptoms always went ignored or treated like anxiety or depression when that wasn’t always the case.
There are a lot of different ways that ADHD and neurodiversity expresses itself in people. These were four big red flags that lead to my own diagnosis. I’m not a healthcare professional or an expert by any means, so if you are struggling with symptoms similar to those described in the DSM-5, seek a professional diagnosis or test.
I constantly bounce my leg or have something in my hands
I learned a new word recently: Stimming. “Stimming” is something a lot of neurodivergent people do to self-soothe and regulate. I never knew this is what I was doing, but I am always and consistently bouncing my leg, fiddling with something, or picking at my nails. It’s not just that I’m doing these things, but it feels wrong to stop.
I stim the most when I teach. I have a couple of fidget toys that I keep on my desk that I hold for the full three hours that my classes last. I don’t know how else to explain it but I have to do it. If I stop bouncing my leg, I lose all focus and my body feels physically uncomfortable until I start back up again.
I know a lot of people fidget or bounce their legs but the key difference between just simply fidgeting and stimming is that physical discomfort I get from stopping.
Even as a kid I had this restlessness and inattentiveness, especially when I wasn’t able to fidget. It was always ignored and put on the back burner as just a “quirk” that I had.
I lose my train of thought quickly and often
I can’t tell you how many times a day I am doing something or talking about something, and in the blink of an eye I completely forget what I was doing.
This is definitely the most stereotypically “ADHD thing” I do. I will be teaching class and be on a roll with the curriculum, and suddenly something will catch my attention (last night it was a big thunderstorm) and pull me out of my rhythm. Suddenly I can’t remember what I was talking about at all and I have to start from scratch with all of my self-regulating and focusing.
While this may not be the biggest deal in the world, it can be harmful for me as a teacher because if I’m torn away from my lesson by something distracting, I could forget to mention something or skip a part of the lesson without meaning to or realizing it.
I get unbearably irritable if my routine is screwed up
A few weeks ago I was housesitting for my parents while they were out of town. I was meant to housesit and take care of their dog for four days. In those four days, I had a panic attack to the point of needing a sedative, my sleep schedule was completely messed up, and my social anxiety skyrocketed. And even though I’m back on my regular routine two weeks later, I’m still experiencing the repercussions from that change.
My sleep has not returned to what it was. I’ve always had a very inconsistent sleep schedule but for a while there it wasn’t too bad. I was sleeping a decent number of hours per night and waking up by 8 am to start my day. Since housesitting a couple of weeks ago, I have been consistently staying up well past 1 am and sleeping in until past 9 am. I’ve been very restless and having nightmares and generally not getting good sleep. All because of the stress that resulted from a change in my routine.
Many neurodivergent people experience this overstimulation and subsequent shut-down when their routine is screwed up. I have a set way of doing things every day and there are parts of my day that are consistent no matter what day of the week it is; even a doctor’s appointment during the week that I’m not prepared for can throw me off my rhythm.
I’m the ultimate picky eater
Not only am I a picky eater, but I have a problem with hyper-fixating on specific foods or dishes. If I am not able to eat the food that I am hyper-fixated on, I would rather not eat at all. Lately I have been hyper-fixated on these microwaveable deep dish pizzas that I found at Target. I bought a variety pack with six cheese pizzas and six pepperoni for my husband.
But I ate all of the cheese pizzas in a week and now I don’t have any more, as I don’t like pepperoni pizza, I have been going all day without eating anything at all. I would rather starve than eat something that I’m not in the mood to eat.
Now obviously this is not healthy and potentially hazardous to my wellbeing so I try my best to eat something anyway, but some days are really hard.
While none of these symptoms directly correlate with ADHD, they are often associated with the symptoms that are. Inattentiveness, hyper-focusing, and restlessness are all real symptoms of ADHD and autism. While these were definite red flags for me and my ADHD journey, they do not automatically equal neurodiversity. Again, definitely seek a professional opinion if you are struggling with similar symptoms.
