6 Signs You Could Have High-Functioning Anxiety
From someone who’s pretty sure she has it too
I’ve been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder since around 2015. While I wouldn’t consider myself an expert by any means, I feel like I’ve got a good grasp on my brain and how I function from day to day. Recently, I’ve been noticing some less-than-desirable characteristics in myself and decided to talk to my therapist about it.
Generalized anxiety disorder is recognized by the DSM-5, but high functioning anxiety is not. It’s not recognized as an official diagnosis, it’s more so just a way to further categorize someone with anxiety. Some people have anxiety that is so debilitating that it prevents them from functioning daily (i.e. working a traditional job, living alone, etc). For a while, I fell under this category. I had to live at home because I was a danger to myself if I lived alone.
After learning more and more about myself and talking with my wellness team, I’ve been able to live independently, work full time, and generally be fairly comfortable with that. This has been no easy feat, and anyone in a similar boat to mine should be proud of their growth.
A person with high functioning anxiety will be propelled forward by their fears rather than frozen in place.
I am not a doctor. If you are having problems with anxiety, please seek an actual psychiatric professional. I can only speak on my own experiences and share what I know about my own diagnoses. So these are the five main characteristics that I noticed about myself, that lead me to research high functioning anxiety.
1. You have an “on” and an “off” switch
When I am working, I can usually just pretend my anxiety and depression aren’t there. I put on my teacher voice and I tell jokes and have a good time with my students until class ends. After class though? I crash. Hard. I have to go right to bed because I’m so physically and emotionally exhausted after several hours of being “on.”
I’ve been called “bubbly,” “happy-go-lucky,” and “easy to talk to” by coworkers and friends, alike. Sure, I’ve got a great attitude when I’m at work or school, but underneath it all I’m a huge pessimist.
I really do believe the worst is likely to happen. I’ve always felt like I have bad luck so I tend to assume something bad is going to happen, even if there is no evidence to support it. People with high functioning anxiety tend to force this sunny and bright persona to cover up their insecurities and fears about their job performance.
I don’t want to be perceived as negative or mean, so I overcompensate by putting on a mask of sorts while I teach, and taking it off when I shut down my computer.
2. You’re a perfectionist
Everything has to be done your way, that way you know it’s been done correctly. Not only that, but everyone knows they can rely on you to get shit done right.
While being detail-oriented and focused isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it goes too far when you stretch yourself too thin trying to complete a ton of tasks at once and ensuring they are all perfect. People with high functioning anxiety also tend to be procrastinators (I’m guilty of this) because we “work best under pressure.”
So not only does everything need to be done your way, it also is put off until the last second, and has to be perfect. This can be debilitating to your mental health, yet is revered by corporate America. Companies want employees who are perfectionists. They want someone who will go that extra mile to triple — no, quadruple — check their work.
3. You plan ahead
Maybe you have a planner or a calendar that helps you keep track of appointments and work schedules. I track everything with my phone. I am always planning ahead and being proactive. If I can schedule my annual ophthalmology appointment a year in advance, I’m going to do it.
Even when I’m driving, I’m thinking ahead. What lane should I be in to turn left in ten miles? I need to get in the right lane because my exit is coming up in thirty minutes. I should take a different route because it might rain today and therefore the Beltway will be backed up.
I’m so afraid of forgetting something that I try to get everything set in stone way too far in advance. Most people would probably say that this is a good trait to have, but when I am trying to plan things over a year in advance, it gets out of hand. I don’t know where I’ll be in a year, in five years, in ten years, so I shouldn’t be trying to schedule doctor appointments and meetings too far ahead.
4. You’re always early
If you’re on time to an appointment, it means you’re late. I always joke around that I’m “perpetually 20 minutes early to everything,” but it’s because I’m very afraid of being late. Just the other day I had an appointment to get some bloodwork done; the appointment was at 9:45am and I found myself waiting in the parking lot a little after 9:30am. The parking lot wasn’t busy, I was one of the first appointments of the day, but I still knew I had to make sure I was there with plenty of time.
I left my house at 9:20am even though the lab is only ten minutes from my house. I knew I would have plenty of time, but I wanted to be ready for any traffic or crashes on the route or red lights.
While being early or punctual is usually considered a desirable trait, it’s also a great sign of high functioning anxiety. I’m so nervous about being late that I make sure I’m too early in order to avoid any problems.
This means I arrive way too early and end up sitting in my car or sitting in a waiting room for a long time. Not the end of the world by any means, but inconvenient.
5. You can’t live in the moment
Ask me how many weekends I feel I’ve completely wasted because I spent the whole time overthinking. I’ll be sitting on my couch just watching the clock, thinking there must be something I should be doing.
Ask me how many vacations have been near ruined because I thought I “wasn’t enjoying myself enough.” My family took an incredible all-inclusive vacation in 2015 to a resort in Cancun and I was absolutely miserable the entire time, despite being in literal paradise, because I was so overwhelmed by the new environment. I couldn’t stay in the moment and enjoy myself.
This is classic high functioning anxiety. Because we are always go-go-go, we have a really hard time turning our brains off and enjoying any down time.
6. Inconsistent sleeping patterns
I go through waves with my sleep. I’ll report back to my therapist that I’ve been sleeping great, and then a few weeks later I’m a total zombie due to insomnia. This not only screws up my circadian rhythm but it also makes daily function near impossible.
Even when I do have a period where I’m sleeping a lot, I have vivid dreams that make me feel groggy in the morning regardless of how many hours I sleep.
The reason why this could be a sign of high functioning anxiety is because inconsistent sleep is a symptom of stress. Someone with high functioning anxiety is going to be pretty stressed out a lot of the time, so it makes sense that I get insomnia from time to time, and other times sleep for more than twelve hours and feel restless.
Remember that your mental health is just as important as your physical health. If you break your leg, you get a cast. The same goes for your brain: You wouldn’t keep walking on that broken leg, so why would you keep ignoring your stress and emotional wellbeing when it’s not doing well?
