I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while. In the last post that I ended up publishing on Medium — there are of course, tens of drafted posts kicking around — I’d focussed on being kind to others but just as importantly, trying to be kind to yourself.
Well, it really is bloody difficult to stick to isn’t it?
Any chance to hitch a ride on the self deprecating train and I’m all aboard, no invitation necessary. I don’t mind that though, I like that I don’t take myself too seriously, just so long as I don’t let that become the dominant or defining narrative.
I know that I’m not alone in that too. In the startup world, there’s certainly a lot of stress, anxiety and self-doubt kicking around wherever you go. Most people you speak to have this horrible sense of imposter syndrome, the feeling that you don’t belong there and one day somebody is going to realise that actually, you know nothing at all and that it’s game over. If I were a betting man, I’d say that is true whatever stage of your career you’re in.
At my coach’s advice, I write 3 things that I’m grateful for each morning. It sounds corny(and you’d be right, it is) but it’s surprisingly helpful each day. It was difficult to begin with but you do find that there is a lot you can be thankful for that you rarely acknowledge. More than that though, it’s had a marked impact on my inner monologue and how I treat those around me.
If we can create kinder, non-judgemental spaces for one another, it can only be a positive thing. As a man, there’s another stigma to break down. To accept, acknowledge or show weakness often is interpreted as a sacrifice of pride or dignity. Then there’s this guy:
This couldn’t be more wrong.
There’s a lot in this tweet and general attitude that riles me but I’ll stick to his point around gender. Yes, there are times to show outward resilience and to embrace the “keep calm and carry on” rhetoric but when men are led to believe that’s all we should ever do, it will continue to worsen our mental health and contribute to what are already shocking figures of suicide amongst men.
It doesn’t have to be in public, it doesn’t have to be anywhere in particular at all but if you’re struggling please do talk to someone. Or if you’re thinking of someone when you read this, please do reach out to them.
I want to end this on an upbeat note, I was introduced last week to a project called Being ManKind which is run by the very cool Super Being Labs.
They’ve created a beautiful book that shares stories from a diverse range of male role models that proves it’s not about a gender, it’s just being human kind. They are running a Kickstarter campaign with 6 days left as I write this, I’ve pledged and it’d be amazing if you could too: click here to check it out.
Either way, thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings. Let’s make our world a kinder place.
