Impacted By Mental Health

I’ve learned a lot in my 19, almost 20 years and I’m not gonna sacrifice my mental health for the wrong things anymore.

Throughout my life I’ve been through a lot and those experiences have taught me valuable lessons. Taught me right from wrong, what is wise and what isn’t and many others.

It wasn’t till I was in health class in grade 12 (2nd semester – April 2014) where we were starting a new unit on mental health. We had a visitor talking about the subject using their slideshow they made. Then after that, we had another visitor come in to the health room to talk about how he had suffered from depression, how it had changed his life negatively. He listed off all or most of his symptoms and as he did that, I made a check list of the symptoms I was experiencing in that particular semester. Not long after that day, I had come to realize that I was suffering from depression too.

Then after my final year of high school had ended and summer had begun, I started preparing a list of things to buy and prepare for my first year at Conestoga College. My mental health was mostly in control and mentally healthy. I was lead to believe that I was fine in the first semester of college but thinking about it later the following year, I actually wasn’t. I thought I was better with all that I had going on in my brain (mental) in the 2nd semester of my last year in high school. But I was wrong.

Thinking back:

One day I found myself thinking back to times when I wasn’t acting right or thinking properly, I came to realize that I was lying to myself. I had thought back to many times in my past where someone family or friends asked me “how are you?” or “are you okay?” and I always answered with I’m okay. I’m fine. I’m pretty good. You get the pattern here. Then before those days when they asked me those types of simple questions, I remember crying myself to sleep the night before, or crying my eyes out in my closet, or even crying in the shower with all the pain I was feeling I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

I’m tired of being afraid:

So many people out there are judging those like myself with mental health issues and it needs to stop. They need to realize they are killing people just by doing that for if they had done the opposite: giving us a positive, nice and polite compliment or something to help us not feel so judged, alone and just uplift us a little, makes all the difference. Which will not help them into the beginning of their recovery but make them slowly become less depressed for example. Not as big as you may think or hope. But it means a lot to them and all the ones they know and love. Dong this will make us not be so afraid with asking for help, standing up for ourselves when we want to get better but it’s too hard and need someone’s help to get there! The recovery road! A great journey that will teach you a lot and improve your knowledge, wise thoughts and so much more throughout the recovery and after that!