Pain Demands To Be Felt

Traumatic Moments Change Everything

When it comes to living in our shameful society being a part fo the mental health community, it’s not at all as easy as one my think it is. Fighting against that stigma in our world is not what you may think it takes. It takes so much that it will take everything you have to get what you want: to be free from the stigma, to be able to be higher than the stigma and discrimation to try to knock us down on the ground.

Anyway, I’d like to start off by talking a bit about the past two years of my life. But before I do, I just want to talk a bit about before the two years began. Which was when I started college at Conestoga College studying in the “Office Administration, General” program in 2014–2015. Everything was okay for me mentally I guess aside from the not-so-good grades from some of my assignments in both semesters.

To state an important fact here, I became quite depressed and it got worse each day. I also found myself being/feeling suicidal. Though I didn’t think to tell my counsellor who I was seeing on campus. This is because I didn’t put the two together. Because if I did, I would’ve come forward to the truth about my mental health state. But aside from that and how badly I was suffering in silence with my depression (without an official diagnosis); I continued to deteriate from my mental illness with the powerful yet deadly stigma.

But to state briefly about the 2 years after; was well to say empowering but also life-saving. I can’t imagine myself and my life if I hadn’t made that first step towards recovery and a healthier life. I had so much wrong with me, it has taken a little over 2 years to discover so much info that wasn’t clear to the first time around. Some of those things were mental health issues that are really life-impacting. I will cover that part in my next post.

But to end off here, I’d like to be grateful for all that I have accomplished in just a little over 2 years and who knows what else I will accomplish in the future! See you in the future!

The highest form of human intelligence is the ability to observe without judging. ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

One thing about taking “Concerta” for my ADHD, is that I must eat three meals everyday in order for the medication to work. As for lacking appetite from my depression, i was unable to maintain a healthy diet to help with the medication. Which lead to being more emotional, more overly sensitive, barely feel much of anything/not in contact with emotions, don’t feel like myself, lacking the drive to get house chores done and getting myself ready for the day, lacking enough energy for the day, not being able to talk normally if I take two pills (2x27mg).

Versus when I take one pill, everything is the opposite: feel like myself, have more energy, in contact with my emotions, not too sensitive, able to talk more, not as emotional, and gained drive to get more done around the house and for myself.

Which also includes self care and self love! Though my parents and doctor think I should go back to taking 2 pills daily but I believe that puts my mental health at risk and neither of them (parents and doctor) can see that enough to consider not changing the dosage on my medication for Concerta.

Will it be hard? Yes it will. But sometimes you have to do the hard thing to get to the place where you need to go. ~ Vasquez