The Reality Of Life With Yourself & The World
Sometimes when people are under a lot of emotional stress, they say things that they don’t really mean!
Well for those of you who know about Gossip Girl and for those who have not only know about the show but have seen the whole series or even rather binge-watched it on Netflix, if you have ever felt like you could deeply relate to any of the characters experiences throughout the series, well I’m about to go deeper into those issues.
Because also I’ve experienced many of these experiences and some not so much like Nate and Dan but the other characters and their experiences I can so deeply relate to! So here’s goes to everything you ever thought was just a fantasy in tv and other forms of creative innovations: music videos, and more.
For those of you who have had experienced any form of trauma of any kind, whether it’s related to being a veteran, accident, loss of a loved one, abuse from spouse, partners, family, friends and etc; and anything else you can think of or add to the list; know that you are not alone.
A lot of times from what I can say by my own experiences and by my experiences in therapy, people who have experienced a trauma in their life, either is just viewed as a traumatic event or something more serious as C-PTSD which stands for “Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder” as stated it’s definition below:
Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma disorder) is a proposed psychological disorder that can develop in response to prolonged, repeated experience of interpersonal trauma in a context in which the individual has little or no chance of escape.
Honestly I never really was able to notice until I heard Blair say this in season 1 of the series:
Your parents have been controlling you your whole life, if it doesn’t end now, when will it ever?
But if I can remember clearly, I may have been able to notice from how Chuck’s dad not being impressed about his interest in having his dad buy a strip club or a club that has strippers to dance very sexually (I forget the name) and he said he’d be impressed by getting a few A’s in school or a part time job.
You look down at the floor every time someone tries to tell you the truth.
Living with emotionally abusive, controlling parents can really screw with your mind and your life in more ways than you can imagine. And for sharing these things with your friends and other people you have any form of relationship with: well it’s not gonna be easy to have the conversation.
Because for one thing it’s not easily accepted as a form of abuse by others because people can easily view it as blaming everything on other people and not on taking responsibility for one’s own actions and mistakes. So they go repeatedly over the same usual conversation trying to get us to be more mature and independent but they don’t get it! What I’m basically saying is: it comes in two parts
- I had this like blow up with a friend over like nothing. We were playing a board game and I totally lost it. I tried to explain that it wasn’t me, that I sometimes literally can’t control my emotions but people and even my own family who spent all those days in the hospital with me; they still don’t get it. Because I look fine, they think I should be like I used to be. They don’t understand because of this disability you have is invisible. So they think that you’re being defiant or not trying, or faking it to get off easy. They end up talking about you behind your back, not sharing stuff with you because they think that you can’t handle it; makes you feel even more alone and isolated. I don’t want to tell anyone what I don’t understand. things, or when I forget where I parked my car. Which happens a lot! Sometimes I just wish I could fade away because it’s easier to be alone than it is to constantly be misunderstood by the people I love the most.
- We need to change the way that we’ve been treating him. It’s called: able ism! We been expecting him to control things that he can’t and keeping things from him that we assumed he couldn’t handle like what happened with the treehouse, or Emma. That’s why we thought (Mariana: we were just trying to protect him) that’s what we thought we were doing. We were just underestimating him. We weren’t letting you be in charge of your own life.
And this goes deep which I’m sure many people can react in an emotional way! And we all just hope that our parents see this and start to treat us differently and support us in a way that’s more beneficial and successful, yet in a more positive way!
Because deep down we all want change but all go about it differently and there’s no shame in that. But when of course people outside or are uninvolved view it differently they assume one thing completely different and believe it’s the children/kids/teens who need to snap out of it and get serious and take responsibility for our actions and mistakes.
And yet it can be hard to convince these people that it’s not what they thought it truly is! And in the end, people are surprised. So what comes next? Well a scenario like this between Blair and another teen…:
- Blair: There are better ways of getting your mother’s attention. Please I wrote the book on distracted self-centred mothers. My mom has never met a single one of my teachers. She regularly forgets my birthday and she only comments on my appearance when she has something to criticize.
- Teenager: But you’re perfect!
- Blair: True and that’s why I finally realized it wasn’t about me. The same way it’s not about you.
And then the teen says this:
Teenager: My mom always says when we come to the city, we’re gonna hang out and do mother-daughter things. It never happens.
Blair: So tell her that! And you try to avoid the surges of the world!
But how hard is is really in this reality to have our parents understand a scenario or problem like this? How hard do we have to work and how long will it be until change happens?
How am I supposed to accept myself if my own mother doesn’t accept me?
It can be really hard to live in the same house as them when they refuse to accept and love you unconditionally for who you are flaws and all. They make nothing out of something and they make it seem like we are the one that needs changing and completely leaves their purpose of change for themselves out of it because they say “we aren’t the ones who need to change”. Because they aren’t the ones acting immaturely, ignorantly and selfishly?
Hello, she wants you to take responsibility for your actions and mistakes. And to own up to when you are being too selfish and lead by example when you say to be more selfless and think of other people; don’t exclude your family and friends just because it’s not within your “black and white” type of thinking.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with thinking differently and creatively! Teachers and other people in our society inspire and encourage us to think outside the box type of thinking for projects and in class overall. So what is wrong about thinking differently? Maybe Phil Collins can answer that:
- Why can’t they understand the way we feel. They just don’t trust what they can’t explain. I know we’re different, but deep inside us. We’re not that different at all!
So what’s the hold up on the lack of proper communication when our parents or whoever else we come actors denies or shuts down our ideas because they are too different… There’s something Radio Rebel quoted in her movie:
- These are all labels. None of what we really are, once a upon a time, being different was a good thing. None of the differences are there to bite us. You deserve to embrace awesomeness. Stand up for who you are! Reject the status quo.
Well? What do you think about my proposal now? I hope I’m not coming off too strong!
She loves you. I think she just wishes that you’d spend half the time on her than you do with these people you don’t even know. And when you do, trust me I really think you’ll see how amazing she is.
Your daughter’s a great girl. You should pay more attention to her soon or it’s too late.
We all want to be loved and accepted for who we are and to have fun and live life in the ways we all want to get out of it! But when someone tries to take it away from us or turn our day upside down in a bad perspective/view; things get complicated and messy. But life doesn’t have to be nearly as messy.
What I’m saying is to strive less for perfection and more for the imperfect kind and one that isn’t tidy all the time; life is messy and imperfect just like every living thing on earth, so why expect anything or anyone to be perfect in our world?
How can I when you disapprove of every decision I’ve ever made. No matter how hard I try to do the right thing you always just assume the worst.
