What I Perceived & Thought Wrong:
Times when we think something makes sense for something, it’s not the real, right answer. Nor the logical, wise answer.
For certain things in life, I thought that I had little or no self esteem (self love) for myself because of how my parents treated me: being so hard on me, etc. But the right answer to that was myself. It’s not at all really to do with them but mostly with myself. Regardless of how they treat me whether they change “how they treat me” or not, I still have to push that aside and focus more on the methods with gaining self love within myself. So when I was able to start working on that (at the time throughout all I had already accomplished with my recovery from my depression, I slowly and naturally started to love myself.
“Take a risk. Take a chance. Make a change. And breakaway! Out of the darkness and into the sun. But I won’t forget all the ones that I love.” – Kelly Clarkson
One Week, And It Changed How I Saw Myself
Me and my family decided to travel to Punta Cana in Dominican Republic for March break. We spent a lot of our days there in the pool mainly and a little in the ocean. A lot of good and small bad events happened but nothing too serious. Had a lot of fun. Definitely splashed plenty of chlorine from the pool and salt water from the ocean on my face and my shoulders which both have acne. And at least 2–3 days after being there, me and my family noticed a difference in my complexion. The pimples on my face looked less crowded on my face and clearing up quite fast. Faster than any other product that I’ve ever used for my acne.
Anyway, By the time we came back to Canada, I noticed that I saw my complexion was clearer than I’ve ever seen in all 19 almost 20 years of my life. It was so amazing and felt so amazing inside. The morning after sleeping in after getting home from the airport at 3am, I really felt different. I was more comfortable and happy with my skin. At that point where I had reached the point in so long of acne, and not being able to be comfortable in my own skin and actually love myself, I finally felt it for the first time ever in my whole life.
Some things Don’t Remain The Way You Want Them If You Don’t Stay On Top Of Them:
It wasn’t long till I noticed a few pimples showed up on my face, and then a few more. To note: I didn’t break out intensely or heavy but there were enough to lead me to slowly lose some of that self love I had for the first time, yet was slowly losing its power and everything that I had worked years in achieving that result: a clear complexion & being comfortable in my own skin/loving myself.
Cope
But since I started dealing with acne in grade 8 till now, I’ve still managed to keep and use that hope that “one day” I will see me with clear complexion and loving herself. But until then I knew I had to stay strong and use that “thought” in my head as motivation and a method used as willpower in a new way to help me stay on track and not lose hope and know that “nothing is impossible”. That me loving myself and being comfortable in my own skin is possible and is in the near future for me. I just have to see what I’ve been doing to wash/take care of my face to help me get closer to that day. And see what I can do differently: make sure I wet my face first, then rub face wash on face real good (including all around my mouth: prevent pimples on my lips), and make sure to wash it all off to prevent the face wash that may be left on my skin from clogging or preventing the pimples from healing/disappearing. Plus other solutions like: using pillow case twice (one side one night, flip and use other night) then replace and repeat, a face mask once or every other week and wash my face: two times a day.
I don’t like to wear makeup up often: only on occasions like interviews, fancy events because I like myself the way I am. And if anyone doesn’t like that, that’s there problem not mine. I finally love myself and I’m gonna show the world who I really am under that mask I wore for 8.5 years. I’m not gonna let anyone stop me just because they have a problem with that! It’s not my problem anymore, so I’m not gonna give in anymore, I’m done doing that! It’s my body, not theirs.
Final Analysis
In conclusion, I have suffered with acne 8.5 years and I’ve struggled to achieve a clear complexion and self love within myself. But through all I have been through with it, (times I came close to a clear complexion), I gave up & lost faith (even times I felt a little hopeless). In the end I still stuck it through after analyzing the best things to fix and change about the situation). And lastly, I learned that my lack of self love within myself was only within myself, no matter how much I thought it was logical or made sense that “how my parents treated me”, it’s myself that has to love myself in that particular way. Justin Bieber taught me this too, in his “Love Yourself” song on his “Purpose” album! I’ve learned a lot about self love! I’m grateful, thankful and happy for all life brought me through with it to teach me the truth about real self love within oneself! Thank you!
“And you told me that you hated my friends. But the problem was with you and not them.” ~ Justin Bieber
