Working On My Confidence Levels…

Lately I’ve had a lot of trouble with my confidence levels and having the positive yet healthy kind. And with even before this pandemic began in Canada, more even so in Ontario; it became hard.

So many things: my circumstances with my mental health: depression but even more deeper into that with having had experienced panic attacks so frequently and with my own home life circumstances led to the outcome of the loss of my thoughts.

Aka my voices: you know that voice that you hear in your mind as you read to yourself, or that voice that helps you complete each step to complete a task. That voice that sounds and matches the description of your heart: listening to your heart, and your gut. These voices: I lost.

And oh yeah another one I forgot to mention: my filter. That voice that helps me think and decide whether or not to do or say something to somone: to figure out if I should or not: if I should say something mean based off of my feelings or how someone or that person made me feel, or to turn the other cheek and either say something nice or say nothing at all.

Anyway, yeah what I’ve just let out is something not even my cousins, aunts and uncles know about. My parents, sister, obviously my counsellor, doctors, other physicians know about this: my loss of my VOICES!

How does one simply cope and get better with a circumstance like this? Especially when those voices helps her in so many different ways.

Oh yeah before I end here, I’d like to mention today (Saturday April 25, 2030) was my anniversary of being in recovery with mental illness/health issues. I began on my recovery with my depression on Saturday April 25, 2015 on my own without a diagnosis (not until October 4, 2016) and without a treatment plan.