Do you trust your ‘self’?

Does having a mental health problem mean you can’t be trusted?

One of the things that becomes almost immediately obvious when a person reveals a concern about their mental health or receives a diagnosis, is a change in the level of trust people display towards them.

Having witnessed a number of friends, colleagues and family members expose an issue relating to mental health, the effect of uncertainty in the expression of the mind can bring with it a sense of unease for those looking into the eyes of someone they know well. But does having a mental health problem mean you are untrustworthy?

For some people the ability to gain insight into their condition brings mixed feelings; confusion, anger, fear, instability — a sense of personal conflict. For others, it confirms (and affirms) why, who and what they are all about. For those witnessing the transition to coping with a condition, reevaluation of their loved one or colleagues behaviour appears to be almost instantaneous, what is the illness and what is the person? What choices are they making? Are they in control? Do they mean it when they say things they feel or are the feelings untrustworthy?

The truth appears to be that there is little or no distinction — the person and the illness are inseparable, making it impossible for the individual or those close to them to predict how or when its effects might stifle life or create a fresh intervention to their ability to live. Managing relationships is hard enough in life but when adding in a dose of mental instability, trust inevitably comes into question. Will you spend money recklessly? Will you abuse substances? Will your mood swing inappropriately to the environment or social situations? Will you make a scene or act inappropriately? Do you feel what you think you feel? How do you make choices when you’re not sure whether what you feel is real?

Trusting someone with a mental illness is hard because it changes our schema or projection of how a person should feel or behave but it’s not as hard as not trusting yourself. Trying to predict, control, affect or tame a mental conditition starts by learning not to trust yourself as a reliable source of information about the world which can lead to a crippling level of self doubt and personal reflection in order to reestablish a sense of identity driven by insight. Chemicals and therapies all play their part — but trust in yourself and others trust in you can wax and wane as you battle the illness and begin to understand it’s effects on daily life.

However, being diagnosed with a mental health problem shouldn’t automatically come with the stigma of being untrustworthy, unreliable or ill-equipped to deal with life. More often than not, people may lose trust in themselves or others but the road paved by diagnosis should open up a greater sense of faith in the self and others that things can improve, be managed and allow for a good life.

There are plenty of people around who don’t have a mental illness and aren’t trustworthy. Maybe a little more faith in those carrying difference in their mental state would go a long way balancing out the inevitable loss of trust that goes hand in hand with being labelled.