Mental Monday: Do You Here What I Hear?

I love Christmastime for many reasons. One of my favorites is the music — but not in the way you might think. My family and I have this warped habit of changing the lyrics to songs. We’ve poked fun at our oldest son for 27 years now by modifying Nat King Cole’s “Caroling, Caroling” slightly as “Ding, dong, ding, dong. Christian is a dingdong!” My mom would let go occasionally with her “I’m dreaming of a white mistress…” and it was because my grandfather used to sing it to her that way! And as an equal opportunity parent, I make fun of my younger son with “Silver bells…Justin smells….”

But our daughter gets full credit for how we sing about Rudolph — isn’t it cute when kids are little and they mishear the words to songs? For parents, it’s a gift — you can torment your kid for years with it. Katie will never live down the fact that she used to sing, “Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won’t you GUT my sleigh tonight? Then all the reindeer RUBBED him….” Maybe that’s why “they shouted out with glee”! Kinky!

So yes, when your kid makes that kind of mistake, it’s cute. But when adults do it — and are unaware — it’s not so cute anymore. I’ve heard and seen “I could of gone with you.” (Or worse, “I could of went with you.”) Yes, that’s what “could’ve” sounds like, but that’s no excuse.

A friend of mine from a long time ago used to talk about a “mute point” instead of a “moot” one. (If it were a mute point, no one would have to say anything about it!) And she would say “stupetified” (STOOP-ta-fied) instead of “stupefied.”

But the one my husband and I laughed at the hardest one time (it was said by a reporter on TV) was “MY-zulled.” As in, “The KGB and the officers on the Soviet ship were myzulled (MISLED!) into thinking the dancer wouldn’t defect in New York.”

So to this day, my family and I deliberately say “mute point” and “stupetified” and “myzulled” because it still makes us laugh. But we’re licensed to laugh: Yes, all five of us carry a Poetic License in our wallets. We can have our way with words.

You too can carry one. Simply do your homework before you use more difficult words in speech. Just because it’s spelled “b-a-n-a-l” doesn’t mean it rhymes with “anal.” And “debacle” isn’t sounded out like “spectacle.” Your attorney may be named David, but he’s not having you sign an affiDAVID.

There are many more instances — difficult and easy words — that cause people trouble. Next week I’ll tell you about the woman who murdered her husband and got caught because she mispronounced and misspelled one crucial word. Yes, the judge can impose a life sentence without the possibility of parole if you don’t work on your pronunciation and spelling!

Now back to my Christmas music….

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Karen A. Hernandez, Editorial Manager at Wunderman WestWundermanWest.com

On Twitter: @Goofreader and @WundermanWest