Safe Space #NoFilter Counsellor Stories — Meet Merle Desouza
Knowing how to approach finding a right counselling can be confusing and the counselling relationship is really the most important factor. It matters more than the theory and interventions we use.
Here at Safe Space, we want to make sure that you and your counsellor are a good match.
Enter #NoFilter counsellor stories. In this series of interviews, we’ll feature different counsellors so you better understand why they got started, their views on mental wellness, and much more.
For our second interview, meet Merle Desouza!
By: Nicole Friets
How did you get into counselling?
I got into counselling after a major life event, namely the loss of my 7 year old son. This not only made me take a step back but also made me decide to do something meaningful with my life. During the lonely and difficult period that followed my son’s death, I learnt how important it was to have a companion; someone who could understand and help me cope.
I met and journeyed with a good grief counsellor during the period and was subsequently encouraged by her to take up counselling as a profession. I decided I wanted to do the same and help others on their life journey.
What are some misconceptions surrounding mental health?
Many mistake “poor mental health” as struggling with mental health issues like stress, depression, anxiety etc. The reality is that it is common for us to face mental health issues from time to time. This is linked to how many do not like talking about their mental issues as they fear being judged or frowned upon by their family, colleagues, or friends.
Another misconception is that a person who has recurring mental health issues is “crazy” (alongside other labels) which leads them to be shunned in society. In reality, this is far from the case and is just based on stigmas.
What are some misconceptions around seeking counselling?
People have a misconception that if you require counselling, you’re simply not mentally strong enough or in some cases, “crazy”. That is absolutely not true.
It is perfectly normal to face mental health conditions resulting from challenging life situations from time to time. Seeking counselling might help by putting you back on the road to good mental health. It’s simply a process of restoring what is in your control due to life situations that are not.
What is the toughest part about your job?
Being fully present, persevering, and patient with every single individual I am counselling . It is also challenging to get a client to open up and express difficult emotions but is partly influenced by creating a trusting counselling relationship. Helping some clients not to give up halfway through the counselling process is also a challenging task.
What is the best part about your job?
The best part is realising that I have journeyed successfully with a client and made a difference in their lives. It could be as simple as providing a listening ear, creating a trusting relationship, or giving them the freedom to open up in a non judgmental setting.
What do you hope for the mental health scene in Singapore?
It would be great to see the stigma attached to mental health removed. This would hopefully see more individuals opening up and reaching out for help if they need it.
We need affordable mental health care offered online and offline so that anyone and everyone can seek counselling without hesitation and restrictions. The more open we are to changing our society’s perception of mental health, the more resilient we can become.
What does mental wellness look like to you?
To me, mental wellness looks like an individual living the life he or she always dreamed of living. They have ease of access to help or guidance allowing them to reach their full potential.
What are some tips for looking after your mental health?
I carve out time on a regular basis to look after myself and engage in self-care routines such as yoga and meditation. I also have a good, healthy circle of friends and invest in meaningful relationships. Additionally, I’m involved in voluntary work and engaging with the community allows me to see life from a bigger perspective.
What is your why?
I feel a deep sense of satisfaction and encouragement when I am able to be there for someone. It brings meaning to my life when I see that I’ve helped others succeed and move forward in theirs.
Life, for me, is only meaningful when I can contribute to making society a more enjoyable and better place to live.
Style(s) of Therapy : Person Centered, Choice Theory/Reality Therapy, Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Solution Focused Therapy.
