Safe Space #NoFilter Counsellor Stories — Meet Rose Faquir
When you have reached that difficult moment of emotional crisis where you’ve decided to reach out to a counsellor, you will probably look online. Cue confusion. While all can be effective, it is important to note that they are not one-size-fits-all as it will depend on you, your situation and the counsellor.
Here at Safe Space, we want to make sure that you and your counsellor are a good match.
Enter #NoFilter counsellor stories. In this series of interviews, we’ll feature different counsellors so you better understand why they got started, their views on mental wellness, and much more.
For our fourth interview, meet Rose Faquir!
By: Nicole Friets
How did you get into counselling?
I went through a very difficult season of life which led me to change the way I viewed life. This subsequently led to a call I felt to take a course in counselling and helping those who struggles with setbacks in life.
What are some misconceptions surrounding mental health?
That only the weak suffer from it. Everyone is susceptible to psychological stresses regardless of race, economic status, spiritual belief and age..
What are some misconceptions around seeking counselling?
“You can settle your own problems”
“Only those who suffer from mental illnesses need to seek counselling”.
“It [counselling] doesn’t help”
It is counsellor’s role to fix your problem.
While it might be true to a certain extent that most of us have the capacity to handle our issues. However, there are times when the issues or stresses became too overwhelming. It is then helpful to seek professional help.
Though counselling may not change the situation, it does help in bringing to a different perspective on the situation, which could eventually lead towards a resolution or step towards solving it.
Also, everyone regardless of their race, religion, or social status may need counselling at some point in their life. It’s not only for those suffering from mental illnesses.
Last, seeking counselling does not mean you are weak. Rather, it takes courage to talk about and process the issues you are facing.
Counsellor does not fix the problem, we process and supported our client to move towards better understanding of their situation, which eventually lead to better decision making and better interpersonal and intrapersonal relationship.
What is the toughest part about your job?
Clients who repeatedly cancel appointments or who come on a very infrequent basis. For change to happen, clients should commit to at least a session every alternate week or once every three weeks. For certain issues, I will recommend that the client come weekly for the first month, and gradually reduce the frequency of the session when client learn to cope better in between sessions.
What is the best part about your job?
Being able to see clients overcome their trauma, addictions, grief, low self- esteem issues… and eventually embrace the person they are meant to be.
What do you hope for the mental health scene in Singapore?
I hope to see individuals unashamed in sharing that they are seeing a counsellor… the same way individuals aren’t ashamed to say they are seeing a doctor for a health condition. I also hope to see increased funding or insurance claims applicable to counselling services. Last, it would be great to see counselling as part of employment packages.
What does mental wellness look like to you?
Mental wellness involves acknowledging that problems will be and are part of our lives and also being more in touch with one’s emotions.
What are some tips for looking after your mental health?
Dwell on the positive aspects of challenges, share how you feel with someone you trust, work hard but make sure to set aside time for self care, exercise.
What is your why?
Counselling, to me, is more than just a job. It’s a calling to serve those who need the service. Given that, I see dealing with clients (even for they are challenging) as an opportunity to lead them to an increased self awareness. I also believe that some clients act “difficult” because they’ve been misunderstood and act out as a defence mechanism.
Optional: Tell us about a funny experience you’ve had working as a counsellor.
I once had a young client to a session “prepared”; he offered his assessment on me and challenged my knowledge regarding certain therapies which he had apparently read up on before our session. He even offered to be a client for a psychoanalytic session!
Initially, I found him very challenging but I do smile when I recall my sessions with him. Ironically, it was this experience that eventually led me to have an interest in working with clients who have suffered from childhood abuse.
Style(s) of Therapy Used: An integration of psychotherapy that address attachment trauma. I am trained in Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing, Emotion Focussed Therapy, Psychodynamic, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Choice Theory, Narrative Therapy and Solution Brief Therapy.
Specialities: I hold special interest in counselling clients with attachment / developmental trauma and anxiety. I am also a certified substance abuse therapist.
