Safe Space #NoFilter Counsellor Stories — Meet Srividhya Sridhar
As if making the decision to open up to a stranger isn’t hard enough, the next step is choosing a counsellor often feels like yet another hoop to jump through specially to know if you’ve found the best one for you. There are a number of questions you can ask that will help you to choose a counsellor.
Here at Safe Space, we want to make sure that you and your counsellor are a good match.
Enter #NoFilter counsellor stories. In this series of interviews, we’ll feature different counsellors so you better understand why they got started, their views on mental wellness, and much more.
For our third interview, meet Srividhya Sridhar!
By: Nicole Friets
How did you get into counselling?
After my family moved to Singapore in 2007, I started looking for something aside from technology and accounting to do. While I had training and experience in these fields, these jobs no longer interested me and I found no purpose in continuing.
I was a mother of two children, and I was looking to do something in line with helping children and parents going through struggles of parenting. I managed to start volunteering with Singapore’s Children Society and started with their phone hotline counselling sector.
This was a major turning point in my life.
My children were in primary school and were of the same age as the children who I was connecting with over the hotline. I bonded especially well with these children and really enjoyed the counselling process. The whole experience spurred me to start looking into counselling as a profession and I started my training with a diploma in child psychology. This eventually led to my decision to join NTU for a full fledged Masters Program in counselling.
Looking back at the last ten years, I am really glad and grateful that I pursued this path despite the various challenges.
What are some misconceptions surrounding mental health?
Mental health awareness in Singapore is lagging behind many other countries, especially in relation to attitudes and behaviors about seeking help. This is partly attributed to how achievement and success-oriented Singapore is.
Some misconceptions are that:
- “Mental health issues are a sign of weakness”
- “I will not be employable if people come to know that I am undergoing treatment for mental health issues.”
- “People with mental health issues can never get better. Problems last forever”
- “People with mental health issues are violent.”
What are some misconceptions around seeking counselling?
Misconception 1: “Going to the counsellor is a sign of weakness”
Truth: Seeking counselling is not a sign of weakness and involves a lot of strength to go through.
Misconception 2: “Counsellors are quacks. How can they magically fix my life in a few sessions
OR Counsellors are magicians and they can fix all my problems”
Truth: Counselling is not about magical solutions and a counsellor is far from a magician. A counsellor, rather, is a facilitator or partner in a client’s journey. A counsellor’s job is to create a safe environment for individuals to open up about their concerns, fears, problems. With the right push and feedback from counsellors, individuals can hopefully reevaluate their beliefs, thought patterns, emotions and eventually be able to accept or change the situation.
Misconception 3: “All my problems can be solved by friends and family. I don’t need counselling”
Truth: Some problems can’t be solved by loved ones due to complex emotionally vested relationships which might prevent them from being non-judgemental and unbiased in their support.
What is the toughest part about your job?
The toughest part is definitely trying to change a client’s’ beliefs and habits. At the same time, clients with mental health issues need to change their way of thinking especially if it is getting in the way of them leading normal day to day lives. The goal is always to move them to a place where they can be more functional.
They may initially be resistant to lifestyle changes and refuse to take responsibility for making changes. I believe this is where the counsellor comes in by creating the right environment and good therapeutic alliance necessary for a change process.
While the toughest part of the job is kickstarting this change and getting clients to help themselves. it is also often the most fulfilling part of the job.
What is the best part about your job?
I love listening to people’s stories and being a part of their lives.
Even as a child, I remember loving to look through friends’ photographs and reliving experiences through my senses and kinds.Now, with my counselling training, I’m able to listen to stories with a professional ear and make therapeutic interpretations to help clients reach their full potential. When clients come out of sessions with increased clarity and hope, I feel fulfilled.
What do you hope for the mental health scene in Singapore?
I feel a lot more can be done in Singapore especially in the form of having more agencies providing psychological services. This would also mean hiring and training more mental health professionals to provide adequate and timely services to people in need.
Also, many parents and individuals who encounter problems with mental health are currently unaware of the help seeking process/ resources available in Singapore. It would be useful to have an integrated network of professionals and channel of referrals between both private and public agencies. I also think that creating community talks and reaching out to people at the grass roots level will be a step towards creating a stigma free society.
What does mental wellness look like to you?
For me, mental wellness is being able to affect and embrace situations in life with positivity, taking responsibility for my actions, being aware of my strength, and constantly enhancing my potential to lead a fulfilling life.
It also involves being able to make wise choices in an ever changing/ environment and being comfortable with those choices
Last, mental wellness involves living a balanced, ethical, and moral life while contributing to society.
What are some tips for looking after your mental health?
Having a balanced and healthy lifestyle.
Watching your diet, exercising, and taking time to pause during the day for recharging goes a long way in maintaining good mental health.
Individuals with religious faith or spiritual beliefs can also devote time to these practices as that usually helps them find meaning and purpose in their lives.
I also believe that making time for your hobbies and interests is important; it revives energy and enthusiasm and helps individuals face life with renewed ebb.
What is your why?
It is never about me but always about the client.
If a client is resistant, it can get difficult, I would always roll with the resistance and find out what is preventing the client from fully participating in the counselling process.
There are times when the client may not be ready for change and that is something I have to accept as part of the process. I’m human too and can empathize.
Optional: Tell us about a funny experience you’ve had working as a counsellor.
Once, when I was seeing clients in a particular shelter, I addressed one client with another clients’ name (the one I had seen in a previous session).
It was embarrassing because both these clients were residents of the same shelter with relationships issues… and they were not exactly fond of each other.
I obviously apologised to my client but felt really embarrassed. Thankfully, we were able to laugh about it and address my mess up in the session. . Since then, though, I’ve made sure to be extra careful and take mental breaks between sessions to start “fresh” with next person I am seeing.
Style(s) of Therapy Used: Person Centered, Solution Focused, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Mindfulness.
Specialities: Individuals, family, Children and Adolescents.
