Be the biggest stake holder in your process of personal growth!
As human beings, I believe our essential goal is to keep learning each day. Learning might take place in one of three ways. Sometimes we put conscious efforts in order to learn a new skill, sometimes we do it vicariously by observing others, listening to their story, while many times, learning comes to us in hindsight. A new hindsight learning I recently realized, got me thinking, ‘Why do we put people on pedestals?’ ‘Why only a handful go up there while others don’t manage to make the cut?’ ‘What goes into the process of putting someone on a pedestal?’
I believe every decision that we make, whether it turns out to be in our favor or not, is taken for our own self-interest. When we put someone on a pedestal, it’s a choice made by us, conscious or not conscious, is still debatable. We put those people there, because we admire them, look up to them, or envy them. Even if that decision stems from a decreased self-esteem, it is still in our self-interest. However, through the course of time, we forget this and start ascribing a lot of responsibility to the other person.
It is essential to understand that every behavior must lie in a state of equilibrium. When the frequency of the behavior starts moving in extremes, be it upwards or downwards, it starts creating a spiral of problems within us and in our relationships.
Pedestals that weren’t asked for, boundaries in such relationships start to become enmeshed or blurry. Since it is our choice, seeing their faults becomes almost impossible and accepting unreasonable things about ourselves becomes apparent. A toxic relationship starts to build on this foundation which may sooner or later lead to an even more damaged self-esteem for both parties.
Looking up to someone, and putting them on a pedestal is natural and an acceptable form of flattery in my opinion, however, it is imperative that we know where to draw the line and to hold an objective stance. It is important to learn to build ourselves even when that place on the pedestal is empty, because we have to be the biggest stake holders and the biggest contributors in our process of growth.
