5 Things I Did to Find My Wife
The woman I’m in love with right now and have been married to for 6 years is not only who I consider to be the ‘love of my life’ second to Jesus, but I proudly call my wife. I’m hearing how it’s becoming more difficult to find a meaningful relationship that leads to marriage and my hope is that this read helps you to find a spouse.
I wanted a wife NOT a girlfriend, sugah’ mama, or baby mama.
If you’ve been looking for your husband or wife on an app like Tinder, Bumble, or Hinge and you’re NOT having any success and the frustration as well as the desperation is settling in, then you may want to reconsider your approach.
Let’s get real for a second, what are the motivations of the people that are generally on those apps and what are they REALLY looking for?
You get what you’re looking for, so be aware of everything that comes with that.
More than likely it starts with a flutter as your heart beats, the conversations are superficial, just as much as what the ‘end goal’ is to be.
I will say that I don’t have experience in using these apps, but the desire that is followed through these apps wasn’t all that different than the dating experiences I had prior to smartphones appearing on the scene.
It wasn’t until later on that I got tired of ‘the dating scene’ and really pursued for much more meaningful relationships that would actually turn into a marriage.
I found what I was looking for.
I knew what I wanted in a wife.
I had certain preferences I wanted to find in a wife regarding personality and even that my wife would be from Colombia.
I also didn’t just want a wife.
I was in search for the woman to my children who had the heart of a mother.
Friendship first, so we could endure the worst.
I have found one of the best things that makes the marriage I have with my wife so great is that we established a fantastic and transparent friendship prior to entering into a serious relationship.
From the beginning we defined the boundaries of our friendship and our relationship leading up to marriage. What I mean by that is when it came to ‘physical touch’ we left what was meant for marriage until the Honeymoon and beyond.
I’ve also found that with how we treated each other in our friendship showed us how things would be later on in our marriage which gave us comfort that we could endure the worst.
Be myself, Accept myself
Before I met my wife I always did my best to just accept myself and be myself as I was.
What I mean by that is I accepted my insecurities and eventually laughed at them (which took years for me to do so) and I embraced my personality.
Why is that part ‘about me’ so important with my wife?
My philosophy was this: “If I can begin to accept myself, then I think I can begin to accept the way someone else is or was.”
Pursue, NOT stalk. Love NOT obsess.
When I first met my wife believe me I KNEW she was for me and I was ready to pursue her in a romantic and respectful way. Please pay attention to those adjectives I used: Romantic and Respectful.
Don’t just recognize those adjectives, but put them into practice into your relationships.
True love isn’t an obsession. It’s a sacrifice.
To obsess about someone or something is NOT a turn-on by any means. It’s definitely a toxic trait to bring into a relationship.
When you obsess about someone you consider NOBODY BUT YOURSELF.
When you truly love someone, you consider the needs of the other person.
I hope this helps bring some tips and encouragement for your endeavor to having a marriage with someone you truly love.
