business/feminism/women/weight/fashion/leadership
How NOT To Give Me a Performance Review
A Practical Example
Ten years ago, during a yearly review, I was coached regarding my professional appearance. Advised to ‘wear more makeup’, be fashionable, be on brand.
On the way home I called my daughter, asking for her opinion; in our relationship my daughters and I don’t ask for opinions unless we want to hear the truth. She quizzed me about wearing yoga pants to work (NO!) and then colorfully explained I was not lacking in professionalism.
I was in tears, already afraid that age (54 , then) would eliminate my chances of corporate success, no matter how capable I was.
I’d prepared for a discussion about my results and contributions, not about my looks.
And as someone that struggled through an eating disorder, childhood trauma, and food addiction: I just kept thinking ‘Of course. I’m not attractive; of course I am failing.’
So I got up extra early each day to do my hair and makeup. Changed my jewelry to a classic but always present staple, went on (yet another) diet, exercised through the day, and wore a wardrobe of ‘black, black, and color accent.’
