Being a Mother and Wanting To Work Remotely

Is that a lot to ask?

Lakshmi Mitter
MerryGoWork
5 min readNov 4, 2019

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Photo by Daria Nepriakhina on Unsplash

A couple of years ago, Candace* applied for a post of editor in a children’s book publishing company. The interview went on smoothly and the Director of the company was very pleased. She even said “I have been looking for someone like you for so long!” The interview ended but Candace did not get the job. (*name changed for protect privacy)

When they got into specifics about work timings, Candace asked if she could have some flexibility in time. She asked if she can work 2 hours of a typical 8 hour working day, by working from home. Candace figured that, that flexibility could enable her to manage her priorities at home and at work together. The priority at home that Candace was referring to was to be able to pick up her son from school and spend some time with him, before she went ahead and finished her 8 hour work day.

Her request was shoved aside as unacceptable and she was offered a bunch of things she could do, such as hiring a nanny to do “the time” she wanted to spend with her son as soon as he is back from school. That and more if she wanted the job. Candace says she cared more about the job than the pay until these “bunch of things to do” came up. That’s when she realised, more than half of her meagre pay would go in getting things in order at her personal front, because her potential employer could not make a change in employee policy. Candace adds, “Of course she is justified in not making an exception for a newcomer like me and I am equally justified in keeping my priorities in perspective.”

According to Candace, what hurt more was that the interviewer was a woman, a mother and the head of the publishing company. She could not relate to her perspective and did not care to explain her perspective, although she stressed on the fact repeatedly, that Candace was the perfect candidate for the job. She had the power to make the change, but she chose not to. We will never know why.

The interviewer was a woman, a mother and the head of the publishing company. She had the power to make the change, but she chose not to. We will never know why.

At the end of the interview, Candace was told that while everyone would like to work remotely, it is just not possible. The potential employer promised to call in a week’s time. It has been four years since. Obviously the call never came.

Clearly this experience kept troubling Candace. She tried working on different angles to this situation, trying not to see only from her perspective. Perhaps the lady was worried that if she makes an exception then every employee of her’s would want the same treatment. Why not? If it makes employees more cared for and happy, wouldn’t their work get better? She even concluded that perhaps she did not like her after all and wanted to let her go. Candace wondered if that were the case why did she go out of her way to give her options that she could resort to at the home front, so that her son has some adult to spend time with him once he was back home. Unable to find a good reason to hold on to, Candace feels hurt and angry.

“To hell with the mother wanting to spend time with her child. To hell with the mother who is choosing to take a salary hit so that she can make herself available when the kid is back home. To hell with the mother who looks forward to see the smiling face of her kid who comes running to give her hug soon after school.”

Many well qualified and capable women are being placed under pressure to choose between a career and a family. Many drop out midway as they are not comfortable with childcare or simply want to be available of their children, while they grow up. Industries in the process, are losing out on some good talent. The solution is to make remote work possible at least where it is possible. In the case of Candace for instance, the company would have got their perfect employee and Candace, her dream job. A clear win win for all.

Photo by Patrick Tomasso on Unsplash

A Woman can’t have it all

A working mother needs help from every sphere even the workspace. She has to make difficult decisions to cope and figure out the best possible system. If she chooses not to hire a nanny for various reasons, it is really her decision, not something that a potential employer’s liberty to take. Candace says she would be less hurt if she was simply told that given the nature of the job, her presence at the office is absolutely required and hence remote working option is not possible. Instead to be made to explain why she does not want to hire a nanny and to be told do so anyway, clearly is unwarranted.

Change is happening

Happy employees work better. Enabling employees to have flexibility and an option to work remote for a variety of reasons is a growing trend. In a study by Harvard Business Review, American workers pointed out that flexibility is as important as healthcare benefits. Employees who work from home are 87% more likely to “love” their job, found a study by Leadership IQ.The trend has catching on in India as well. A study conducted by IWG (International Workgroup Space) indicates that more than 53% of Indians work remotely for several days a week.

How can companies benefit by providing a remote work option?

Says Barnita De, a Product Manager for Banking Products in the IT industry, “Having made remote work as an option we are able access the best skills across the country/globe. This has enabled us to focus on the deliverables without having to worry about the quality of talent chosen.”

Not just that, this is fabulous opportunity for industries to close their gender gap. Enabling women to work from home or places closer to their homes, brings untapped female talent to the mix. It’s just not about saving commute time but much more. It is about keeping employees happy and hence motivated to work and contribute more to the growth of the company.

Freelance content writing space gives its writers the benefits of flexibility and a chance to explore new subjects to learn and write about. But what does it take to be a successful content writer? Surobhi Banerjee and Sruthi Subramaniam, two experienced content writers, who are also mothers who quit their full time careers, tell you more..

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