Confusion and Frustration as a child vs an adult

Hey Ari,

As a kid, there are many factors in life that are out of your control.

• You are told when to wake up
• You are told when to eat
• You are told when you need to do schoolwork
• You are told when you can or can’t have fun
• You rely on others (like your mother, step-mom and myself) to transport you from point a to point b whether you want to go or not

…it’s gotta be confusing and frustrating at times when things don’t go in your favor and it’s 100% out of your control

With that said I just want to let you know that this feeling will not necessarily go away when you become an adult.

• You must wake up in the morning to do some work (earn an honest living of some sort)
• If you don’t eat food, you will become unhealthy and eventually have severe health concerns.
• I personally only get to play video games a few hours a week because when you get older, you rely on yourself to handle responsibilities which take up most of your time. As a result, I must pick and choose what I do with my minimal free time.
• Everything I do for myself or our family costs money and resources and thus why I have to wake up each morning and earn some money via an honest living

Personally I held a lot of anger against my parents as a child. I was shielded from many things (more so than my peers) and as a result I had a lot of frustration towards my parents and majority of my childhood. However, my parents spoiled me in regards to purchasing video games, computers, and allowing me to have my best friends over to play with at my house.

Looking back now, I thank my parents for the following:

• Purchasing a computer and video game consoles when I was at such a young age when computers were expensive and not a household item yet. This allowed me to get early experience into what would eventually be related to my career as an adult (as a product manager in technology companies).
• Allowing my friends to come over frequently even if I wasn’t allowed to go to their house as much. I thank my parents for this because I realize now as an adult that I grew up in a very bad neighborhood surrounded with a lot of gangs, drugs, and violence. They made the right call in making sure I didn’t let my surroundings take me in by being around the wrong type of friends without their supervision. As a result, my childhood best friends are still my best friends to this day and I survived an environment in which many of my childhood peers ended up dead or in jail.

Essentially I just want to let you know that if you ever feel frustration towards me about anything I do, just know that in the long run I’m doing what is best for you even if it means you will not like me in the near term.

Myself, your mother, and your step-mother will always do what is best for you and just know that anyone outside of the 3 of us will not ALWAYS have your best interest at heart.

Always wonder if someone (that is not the 3 of us) asks you to do something…if there is a hidden reason they want you to do something.

I struggled through a lot of manipulation and deception growing up and you will experience the same but if there is one thing I can guarantee, it’s that the 3 of us will always have your back no matter what…even when you’re mad at us.

The key is to know that living life is all about trying to figure out these challenges in your own way. Know that you’re not alone Ari and there will always be resources available to you like myself, your mom, or your step-mom.

If you’re ever in an extremely bad scenario, there’s also professional help. There is NOTHING wrong with seeking professional help when things are SUPER HORRIBLE.

-Dadida