How to stick to your New Year’s Resolution Ideas … in 2020
First things, first, you will have to accept the fact you will fail, many times, before you reach your end goal.
“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
― Thomas A. Edison
I am writing this today on new years eve, I have already put off writing this piece by two hours, procrastinating.
I have found Vacuming, that had to be done, right now, even though for the past few weeks it has not bothered me that there are cobwebs in the corner of my front room.
But today I had to clean up the cobwebs and then proceed to give my front room carpet a deep clean, just as I was about to start the spring dusting, of my coffee table and other furniture, I stopped myself in my tracks.
I mean it is only Winter, the birds of spring are not singing yet, so yes, I have decided to put me and my writing talents out there finally, and it is terrifying.
Maybe you have been in this situation yourself when you have had an important new year resolution or goal to work at.
But you decided to put off doing the practical task to achieve your aspirations?
Why do you, me and other human beings dilly dally, delaying, our personal success.
I have done a lot of soul searching over the past decade.
And one of the main things I found from my research which, includes reading many books, watching hours, upon years of youtube videos, making real-life observations and learning from my personal experiences and mistakes.
Is that us human beings fear, failure, and this dread of getting it wrong, plays out in many ways, mainly in our addictions and toxic relationships.
As we run from ourselves, doing anything to numb the pain we feel inside and silence the little voice inside.
Which intermittently makes us aware of the new years resolutions and goals we are failing to keep.
“Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, Do it.”
― Neil Gaiman
You have been, programmed to believe that to make a mistake is to miss the mark of perfection, in our modern world, where we expect everything, even our fruit to be flawless.
You have become accustomed to the false idea of success, as typically, you only start to become aware of those who achieve, material and public reward, once they have reached their destination.
You rarely see the long, arduous journey full of tears, setbacks, mental breakdowns and regrets they had to take to get to the top of their profession.
Collectively, we tend only to see the end results of “A. Someones”, success story, the photoshopped images of achievement and adoration, which litter our social media and TV screens.
Giving you the false perception that you have all your shit together to reach your highest potential and obtain your personal goals, and this is not true.
Recently, There have been many media reports documenting the addiction, relationship and mental illness that many high profile people battle with daily.
The veil of perfection has fallen, and it has become common knowledge, that many people in the public spotlight battle with, demons addiction and psychological unrest, just like you and me.
“Success is not final; failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
― Winston S. Churchill
Firmly committing and actually doing the work to achieve your new year's resolutions is not an easy task.
You have to sacrifice your self-destructive habits, or at least minimise them.
Ever so often, human beings have to let go of relationships you thought was going to last for a lifetime.
And, even when you plan every detail, they are always things you miss, and at times.
You have to drag yourself kicking and screaming to do the things, you say, you want to do.
After all, to err is to be human!
“Have no fear of perfection — you’ll never reach it.”
― Salvador Dali
How to stick to new years resolution ideas 2020 …….. continued
I have found that yes, it is good to make plans, but even when you do, yano life happens, there will be things which occur, beyond your control that will even stop the best of your intentions.
You will have breakups, work commitments, as yano, you have got to pay the bills!
Your kids may need your attention, as well as your partner, friends, family; the list is endless.
They are many life events that will stop you in your tracks, but the biggest one will be, your innate fear of failure.
Sometimes, you just have to feel the fear and do it anyway, which is also a title of a book by Susan Jeffers, as if you do not, you will never achieve your dreams.
Now what really, gets us Human beings, in a hissy fit, is when things do not go to plan, so we give up, and this is when life gets awful for us.
Resentment can set in, we become envious of other peoples achievements, thinking them lucky, and sure, some people are.
But most people who get to the top or even the middle of their profession had to work very hard, over a long period to get there.
“When we can’t dream any longer, we die.”
― Emma Goldman
The biggest crime most of us make is giving up on ourselves and our dreams.
So we run to our addictions to numb the pain of our internal unrest, yano the little voice, that keeps edging you to start the things you keep putting off.
The only way to make sure your personal victory is a sure-fire bet is to commit to persevering until you reach your destination, no matter what, even if you fall a million times and you been working at your goal for decades.
You have to keep on going until you get there, taking one step at a time, one day at a time.
To achieve your new year’s resolutions, 2020, Commit to, getting back on your bike of recovery each time you fall off.
And you will fall …………….many times if you want to reach your destination, whatever your goal, ambition or purpose may be.
You have to factor your many failures into the equation, of reaching your highest potential, not doing so will set you up to fail.
Why do I call it a bike of recovery?
well just like riding a bike, sometimes it will be plane sailing, you be cruising down the road, hair loose, feet loose, and fancy-free.
Then bam, there will be a hill, rocky terrain even, which will need your hands firmly on the handles, your focus and full stamina.
You will have to move your legs faster, put more effort in to reach the top of the hill.
And frankly, there will be times when you won’t want to put the effort in; additionally, there will be times when you won’t have the energy to climb the hill.
No matter how hard you try or how much you want to, as life and its obstacles will always need to be navigated and overcome.
There will also be times when you prefer to partake in procrastination instead of doing the work to fulfil your new year's resolutions.
Like having fun, wasting time going through Instagram memes, chatting in group chats, binging on Netflix or anything else, that floats your boat.
To be blunt, times when you will prefer to do anything else even watch paint dry, instead of working towards achieving the new years’ resolutions and life goals, you have set for yourself.
Not because your innately a failure, who readily gives in to external distractions and personal passions.
Not because you don’t have enough willpower, but because at times in life, you will go through periods, when you simply cannot be arsed.
To carry out what you know you must do or want to do; preferring to give in to procrastination and this is why many of us fail at keeping our new year’s resolutions.
We do not factor in the fact that procrastination detours and failure are all part of the road to success.
For example, you may have made new years resolutions to change your diet or go to the gym more.
You get to day two, and you don’t make it to the gym, or you overeat, and now your upset and throw in the towel, giving up on our new year’s resolution, before the year has even started properly.
Deciding to wait to 2021 to start again, all because you forget to put failure and the human habit of putting things off, into the equation of your eventual personal victory.
Personal habits are hard to overcome, but you can let go of your self-destructive habits if you keep working toward changing them consistently.
Now don’t mistake what I am saying here, consistency does not mean every day or working at the same thing at a time.
As I mentioned earlier in this article, unexpected events will always happen sometimes circumstances won't allow you to work on a particular resolution or life goal.
And you will have no choice but to focus on another resolution in the meantime.
To work at your goals and new years resolutions consistently, you need to commit to be flexible with your aspirations.
And be willing to get back on your bike of recovery each time you drop off.
Some weeks, you will be able to work towards your goals every day, other weeks, you may only manage one day, but if you commit, to keep trying to reach your deepest aspirations and goals, you will get there……eventually.
Life is a cycle, there will be times when you will experience bouts of anxiety, depression, crippling regrets, stress or grief.
Yet they are times of joy, happiness, pleasure, adventure, new beginnings and exhalation.
The reason why we fail to reach our highest potential is that we expect too much of ourselves, we seek flawlessness.
When we should be aiming for is regular effort and getting back on our bike of recovery each time we fall off.
The best we can do is take one day at a time if you want to achieve your new year’s resolutions and intentions in 2020.
So why do we procrastinate so much?
answer….? …………………ermmm **&@! knows
but one thing I do know is……
Acceptance of how you are, right now, is key to your lifelong progression…..
Top tips for sticking to your life goals and new years resolutions:
· Try to make a list of 1–4 things you would like to change, i.e. exercise more, eat more healthy, find a new job, create a side hustle. I recommend starting small, then working your way up, taking each day as it comes.
· Research, find stories, online videos and advice from others who have already achieved the goals you’re aiming for
· Get support, this could be from a friend, life coach, or online forum or group, but remember at the end of the day, it is your responsibility to change your life around… even if your friends give up, you have to keep going.
· We all want fast changes in our lives, but I have found on my self-healing journey, that changing one behaviour or habit at a time is the best bet, as well as rewarding yourself at short intervals, reinforces your commitment to your new year’s resolutions and life goals.
Each milestone is to be celebrated and each failure is to been seen, as a step towards your success.
· And finally, do not beat yourself up, when you fail as you will, miss your personal expectations, often, the trick is to get back on your bike of recovery, each time you fall off!
Oh, and By the way, it took eight days of procrastination, to finally upload this article, oh well…….as I said delay and failure is part of the journey!
Happy new year and I congratulate you in advance as I know that you got what it takes to achieve your new year's resolutions, you will fail many times but if you commit to getting back on your bike of recovery each time you fall off.
You will get there…..eventually.
I believe in you, and it may say sappy or cliche, but I really do.
“New year is the new way of inviting transformation, abundance and prosperity to every life.”
― Amit Ray