How My Entrepreneurial Journey Has Affected My Well-being
There are things I can’t run away from but definitely can be fixed.
We often like to read people’s success stories to keep us motivated and just to remind us not to give up. As an active motivation hunter, every time I read such stories I feel empowered at first, but then I have this little voice telling me “well I guess you’re lucky and it’s easy for you to inspire other people because it’s now proven that you’re not a failure” hence, I find it hard to relate sometimes.
Just like the Iceberg Illusion, I’m well aware of their struggles prior to their accomplishment, but I tend to ignore them because all I could see is the surface which is their success. That makes me feel like I’m the only one who is still climbing really hard to reach my goal while others are already on top. Of course, any rational person can probably tell me that it’s not true and I shouldn’t be thinking that way. Still, I’m not going to pretend that I always have wise thoughts all the time. Negative thoughts inevitably hit my mind from time to time.
I recently read an article by one of the medium writers about how he quit his job to pursue his passion and yet he still can’t cover his rent. His story certainly gave me a perspective about the hardship that everyone has to go through to achieve our goals and it inspires me to write this so that anyone who is going through the same situation as I am, knows that you are not alone. Just because you’re not successful yet doesn’t mean you can’t be inspiring.
Now I would like to share the concerns that I’ve been having regularly since I left my full-time job to start my venture and things that I’ve learned.
Constant doubt
When I decided to dive into the entrepreneurial world, I was so eager to learn anything that I could — just to get things started. I had so much energy as my mind was immensely occupied with lots of ideas and I couldn’t wait to carry them out.
As most of you know that good ideas are not enough to guarantee that your business will be successful. Execution is always a crucial part of the process. There were countless ideas that I planned that didn’t translate well when it came to the real execution.
Unfortunately, when things didn’t turn out how I expected them to be, my worst enemy kind of punched me which was self-doubt. I began thinking if I made the right decision, if I should start looking for a job, or if it’s time to give up. I was fully aware of how hard it would be and I knew what I was getting myself into but man…when that happens, you can’t help but question everything.
I’ve seen people posting on Linkedin about their success of launching their business, getting huge funding from investors, or how they’re ecstatic about their job and there I was again, comparing myself with them.
I realized that I couldn’t keep doing this to myself. Yes, there will be always plenty of obstacles, and some people I know might be far ahead of me — which is great and that should be a simple reminder for me that if they could go through difficult situations, so could I. It’s not them whom I should compare myself with, it’s me. It’s with who I was yesterday, a month ago, or a year ago.
Honestly, I haven’t reached where I want to go, not even close but I know I’ve grown as a person the moment I got out of my comfort zone. The fact that I took the risk to do this was already a brave thing to do and I deserve to get a little bit of credit for that. To me, self-doubt is always gonna appear once in a while and all you need to do is to control your mind.
Every time I have doubt, I always try to look back and remind myself why I took this path in the first place. Why did I decide to take a leap? What did I want to make a change? If I managed to take a big step, the more I should not give up.
Feeling lost
There are times when I just don’t know what to do. I wake up every morning, do yoga, have breakfast, and sit at my desk ready to work until suddenly…shit what should I do now? The tiring part is not when you have a lot of things to do (I personally think that would be one of the best days) but when you spend your whole day thinking about what to work on, what’s next, how to make it work and by the end of the day you feel like you didn’t have a productive day.
It can be quite overwhelming that I need to keep on finding ways to solve something that doesn’t always turn out how I expected it to be.
It’s hard to talk to someone who isn’t in the same situation as I am. I get pretty lonely at times and I don’t know who I should talk to. Even though I know that my friends won’t judge me and they will encourage me no matter what, it’s the ego that occasionally makes me feel ashamed to talk about it.
I read another article by an ex-founder about her failure and how she went through a very hard time to finally come out from the shame. I realize there are many founders who feel the same way and yet, how many of them actually like to show their vulnerability especially when they have no success story to share.
“You’re not lost, you’re just early in the process.”
I’ve learned that it is completely normal to feel different kinds of emotions. You might feel lost, angry, ashamed, or stressed. But remember this, whatever you are feeling doesn’t define who you are. Emotions come and go so just take a deep breath, acknowledge them and trust the process.
There’s no need to be ashamed as well because everyone has their own journey. If there’s a thought that things should move faster, it would be just your ego comparing your rising to someone else.
The guilt for taking a break
One of the reasons why you have decided to start your own business is partly because you want to be your own boss so you can choose how you want to work. Turns out, it is not as easy as it seems. You have this feeling like everything depends on you and you don’t deserve to have a break because once you rest, it will fall apart. Your brain just couldn’t stop thinking about making it work.
It was a totally different situation when I was doing my corporate job. I was just fuel to a car that kept the engine work and since I wasn’t the driver, it didn’t really concern me how the car reached the destination.
Looking at that analogy, even as a driver, we need to take a rest to stay alert on the road on a long trip. When you don’t rest, accidents are prone to happen. Not only you will put yourself in danger, but you will smash that “Audi R8” that you love so much. It’s the same thing as being an entrepreneur. You will not reach your destination safely without taking good care of yourself.
I know if I don’t pay attention to my mental health, there’s no way my brain will function at its greatest. A break is essential and well-deserved whenever you need it. It could be a short 10mins power nap, a day off where you unplug from technology, or a weekend getaway to be out in nature. No fixed rules that state how long you should take a break. You’ll know when your mind needs to be recharged and you can’t force it to operate.
Yes, I admit that as optimist as I can be, I’m not perfect and there will be times where my mind is not being very supportive and I can repeat the same negativity all over again. So all I need to do is to pause, have a break and find something exciting to do to clear my mind. I always make sure my thoughts don’t affect my emotions by acknowledging the feelings. I constantly tell myself that it’s okay to feel bad and vulnerable.
When I‘m dealing with negative emotions, I try not to deny them or convince myself that they’re not real. Instead, I will just let myself feel it as it will only go away once I admit it. The more I push it away, the more I will never get over it.
Nonetheless, to sum up, here are the key takeaways that we can put into perspective.
- Don’t be too hard on yourself. If you want to be your own boss, might as well be a good boss who cares about your well-being. You wouldn’t want your employees to suffer one day. So start with yourself.
- Have patience and do things at your own pace. Success doesn’t happen overnight. It takes sacrifices, disappointments, determinations, and many other things to be where you want to be.
- Join a community that helps you realize that you’re not alone. It always feels good to talk to people who understand and have gone through the same thing as you. Hence, find your own support group.
- Do not compare yourself with other people. Remember that everyone has their own journey. Let your journey be the unique one.
- Lastly, trust the process. Every effort counts no matter how small or big it is.
You can do this!
