The Power of Perception
Instead of asking yourself “why is this happening to me?”, ask yourself “why is this happening for me?”.
All of us are going through something. Nobody has a perfect life. What is perfect, really? The challenge is to focus on the good instead of the bad. Searching for negativity is the obvious thing to do and as humans, we are shaped this way as it has more impact. Psychologists refer to this as the negative bias. We are not usually kind to ourselves or others. It is common, dangerous, and will impact all the different aspects of our lives.
There are a lot of tricks that can be used to help us overcome negative bias. You can focus on the good things in your life, the little things that make you happy. You can also do things that you enjoy and spend more time with the people that uplift you. There are many more, but what really worked for me is changing my perspective.
Many things have happened to me in the past couple of years; moving back to my home country for a job after being away for some time, dealing with medical issues, a family member’s medical issue, and all the uncertainties brought by COVID-19. I often thought to myself, why is this happening to me? This is a question that self-deteriorates and there is never going to be a satisfactory answer.
When we search for things that are not going right in our lives, we will always find them, and most of the time, the list goes on. I have certainly done that. I found so many things that are not right. The more I thought about it, the more anxious and pessimistic I became. It affected my relationships, mental health, and work. I behaved differently, acted more irrationally, and was short-tempered.
When speaking to a friend about this, she told me to try to change my perspective. Instead of asking yourself why these are happening to you, question why these are happening for you. With that simple question, my whole life changed. I started focusing on the positive things that have resulted from everything I had been through.
When I asked myself “why is this happening for me?”, I notice that there are so many positives that outweigh the bad. On moving back to my country, I was able to reconnect with my old friends and spend more time with my family. On my family member’s medical issue, our family got together and we became the source of stability for each other, strengthened our bond through the experience. On my medical issue, I became more aware of myself, lived a healthier lifestyle, and more grateful for my body with all its imperfections, as I recognized how strong my body has been through the journey of healing.
For me, the key to changing my perspective is self-awareness. You need to know when you are holding on to negativity. Look what happens when you block the noise, accept them as it is, and instead, focus on the good things that came out of your challenging experiences. Take control of your narrative, take responsibility for it. You see the world more wonderful. You will notice how the universe is working for you, and working as it should. You will become stronger, you will be grateful, and you will be thankful.
