You Are Where You Are Supposed to Be
Overcoming anxiety and quarter-life crisis
I have been lucky in life. I grew up with loving and supportive parents, I have a little brother who I am close to, and I have always had what I needed. I grew up in a third world country with multicultural parents; an Asian father and a western mother. I then went abroad for college and was able to receive a good education. My goal was to have a successful career, so I started working at a multinational company, climbing the corporate ladder. I knew I was on the right path to achieve the goals that I have set up for myself. 5 years on, I was unhappy and became unsure of what I really wanted to do in life. I started to think, am I going through a quarter-life crisis?
Many of us question the direction of our lives, comparing our achievements with those around us, our group of friends, even with the people we do not know through social media. Questions such as ‘She owns a business at 25?’, ‘He has achieved so much at such a young age!’, ‘She is smart, beautiful and married? She has it all!’ often leads to one question that self-deteriorates — ‘what am I doing with my life?’
The anxiety that comes with what I was going through put me in a dark place. Although I was never a social butterfly, I stopped socializing altogether, including with my inner circle. I was fixated with the internet, watching endless tv shows, random videos, reading superficial blogs. I lost myself.
Realizing that I was going through a dark place was the turning point in my life. Only then I was able to seek help. I started talking to a personal coach, and one question hit me. What does it mean for you to be happy? This was by far the most difficult question I have ever encountered, and until today, not one I can answer.
We are often fixated on big goals that we have set at such an early age. Whether it be on a personal or professional level, these goals are often overly ambitious and we would do anything and everything to make sure those goals are achieved. Perhaps we work late every day, working on weekends on our personal time, marrying our partners just because society thinks we will be too old otherwise, etc. without realizing what we are missing out on through this journey of life. While those big goals may be important for some people to stay on a path, remember that the small goals matter too.
So how did I overcome my anxiety? I tried countless new activities, still seeking external validation. Until one day, I was immersed in the beautiful world of yoga and meditation. It saved my life. I became grounded and more aware of my surroundings. Accepting life as it is. I was present. For the first time in my life, I stopped comparing myself with others, started to realize that I have achieved so much, and realize that my journey has made me who I am today. I was only competing with myself and I only thrive to be a better person than I was yesterday. This became my guidance in life. Today, I no longer put pressure on myself, I live in the moment, I am happy, I am thankful.
Everyone is on individual paths in life. We often forget to stop and look around. Instead of thinking about how everybody else is better than ourselves, it is important to also remember what we have achieved. Take a step back. Until we can embrace the present, we will keep missing out on the beautiful things life has to offer. Be anxious for nothing, thankful for everything. You are where you are supposed to be.
