
How to explain privilege to the privileged?
How come it’s so hard to understand one’s privilege?
By Ola Möller
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Introduction
I often see, both in the case of myself and others, that it’s hard to understand ones own privilege. It’s easier to see people of more privilege than people with less. I often tend to see areas where I myself lack privilege, because I experienced resistance there. Below I will explain why I think it’s more difficult to focus on your own privilege.
I think talking about privilege must be seen beyond gender, class and ethnicity, trying to overview things with as many different lenses as possible. To understand privilege it’s also important to talk about norms and what is seen as high status.
Will change and add things to the article over time.
The norm
What’s accepted in society as a whole or in different groups? What is the consequences of not sticking to the “rules”? Norms tend to change and in some circles of people, norms can be composed in totally different ways.
Some places have soft edges (accepting environments) where other places have a norm floating on glowing lava (intolerant environments where norm violations are heavily punished).

Examples of privilege
Some privileges are often set when you’re born, others might change during the course of ones life. Below are examples of people refusing to see their privilege:
The three “classics”
- Class
Upperclass woman not seeing her class as privileged.
- Ethnicity
White working class not seeing their ethnicity as privileged.
- Gender
Men not seeing their gender as privileged.
Other examples
- Educational level
University educated not seeing educational level as privileged.
- Language
People with academic language not seeing language as privileged.
People speaking speaking their mother tongue not seeing that as an advantages in contrast to be a second language speaker.
- Economical stability
People with loads of money or assets not seeing capital as privileged.
- Sexual orientation
Hetrosexuals not seeing their orientation as privileged.
- Gender identity
The division of public spaces (gyms, hospitals, restaurants) for two genders as given or natural.
(Thanks Moni for adding this)
- Nationality
Swedes not seeing their passport as privileged.
- Weight
Person of conventionally accepted weight not seeing the stigma around obesity.
(Thanks Lucas & Hanna for pointing out! An Moni to point out “normal”)
- Health
People being physically and mentally health not seeing that as privileged. As with most privileges there are stigmas around the unpriviledged positions. This could for example be having (functioning) damaged teeth.
(Thanks Thomas for adding)
- Functionality
People without disabilities not seeing physical or mental functionality as privileged.
- Establishment
Older people not seeing their established position in society as privileged.
- Age
Younger people not youth as privileged.
- Friends & Network
People having lots of family, friends and ambassadors might have harder to see that it makes them get easier through life because they have a social net around them.
Stuff that is debatable
- Drive
People with drive to get stuff done not seeing being driven as privileged.
- Extroversion
The extrovert not seeing outgoingness as as privileged.
Other privileges might be: Logical mind, self-esteem, intelligence, physical attractiveness, famous surname, safe upbringing, social security net, being a morning person. Which ones did I miss? Please input!
Inside the norm
Being inside the norm makes it difficuly to understand the norms. Never violating the norm makes it hard to understand the nature of it. If you are inside the norm you are safe from falling off the edges. Life is good, at least without significant resistance. A life safe away from the edges but also far away from understanding what lies close to them. If you haven’t been close before…

Norm violation
Being outside the norm
A person being outside the norm often experience active or passive resistance when acting against the norm. That’s falling off the edge (the grey area below). Often people have to pay the price of not being a part of the norm. Something that makes you understand the edges of the norm (norm violations). This is very hard to explain to the person inside the norm because they have not fallen off or been threatened, shamed into conformity, they were there to begin with.

Awareness of the edges
There is a difference of being outside the norm and understanding how it is to have been outside it. University educated that grew up in the Projects is not automatically a suitable representative for people with lesser privilege from the same place. White middle class people with academic education loves being of lesser privilege though.
Recognize edges ≠ Violate norms
A billionaire that came from the working class can understand how it is to be working class (he/she could recognize the hardships, but the reality is that it’s not a part of their life anymore). To recognize the edges is an ability where you detect edges (even when you are the norm). Norms are different in different groups. Small groups can be unbearable in the same way as a normative society. Being aware of the societal norm, doesn’t mean that you understand the event of other people being under privileged or punished for violating the current norm. The awareness of the edges might actually be the eye to detect people/behaviour being pushed off the edge (being punished for violating the norm). This become a way of understanding the limits of what’s seen as okey and not in different groups with different norms.
Things that build awareness of how to detect edges.
Some people can detect edges with better clarity. That might include people that had experiences where they weren’t the norm.
- Bullied
- Experience of being excluded
- Seeing other people be attacked for not being a part of the norm
- Intercultural experiences
- Class journeys
- Upbringing of lesser privilege
- People who have experienced some kind of trauma
More examples? Please input!
Norms connected to privilege & status
How I see it, is that status and privilege are often built upon the current societal norm. It could be seen as a pyramid with the norm as the base. Only the ones being very norm-centered manage to get to the top. That might also be the reason why people tend to become more obedient to the norm the more privilege they are collecting.

Groups with Alternative Norms
(Added May 23, after conversation with Julia W)
Many of the people that feel that they don’t fit into the societal norm eventually find their peers in groups with different norms. Within that group, norms & status work differently. Just because you are the norm in the sub-group that doesn’t mean that you get a real privilege in the eye of the society as a whole. Thus sub-groups make you feel at home on a personal level. That might explain isolation and alienation of some unprivileged groups.
Examples: Criminal gangs, cosplayers, queers.

Alliances of privileged
(Added May 23)
Alliances of privilege is also a form of sub-grouping but from inside the norm. Being on top of the pyramid of privilege but fencing people away.
Example: Upper-class men’s clubs, group of cool kids in school and gated communities.

Other visual explainations (of privilege)
The Trash Bin Example
from this Buzzfeed article by Nathan W. Pyle.
“I once saw a high school teacher lead a simple, powerful exercise to teach his class about privilege and social mobility. He started by giving each student a scrap piece of paper and asked them to crumple it up. He said, “The game is simple — you all represent the country’s population. And everyone in the country has a chance to become wealthy and move into the upper class.”

“Everyone took their shots, and — as expected — most of the students in the front made it (but not all) and only a few students in the back of the room made it. He concluded by saying, The closer you were to the recycling bin, the better your odds. This is what privilege looks like. Did you notice how the only ones who complained about fairness were in the back of the room?”
On a plate
A brilliant short story about privileges (Thanks for the tips Anders)

Check out the whole strip here.
Thanks
Thanks for important conversations around the topic:
- Sara Haraldsson at Maktsalongen
- Talajeh Nasiri at Stockholm Academy of Dramatic Arts
- Matilda Lindblom at Westpride
Thanks Micke for pointing out miss-spellings.
Thanks Moni, Lucas+, Hanna and Thomas for making the article better!
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