“Do you like whips and chains?”
Harassment in the hospitality industry
“Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Do you like whips and chains?”
“You need a spanking b*tch”
Working in the hospitality industry, my female colleagues and I are no strangers to such remarks — we have to just take it with a smile.
Yet as a woman, no one finds it surprising to hear these kinds of comments.
Gender inequality & harassment in the hospitality industry
Although more women than men work in the hospitality industry, there still exists a large gender disparity. This gender disparity can manifest itself in various ways, including:
- Lack of women in leadership positions. According to a survey carried out in 2021, women made up over 50% of the hospitality industry but only 5% of women make it to the c-suite level.
- Sexual harassment. A disproportionate amount of women experience sexual harassment at work compared to that of men by customers.
First-hand experience
My first hand experience as a woman working in the hospitality industry has caused me to experience and witness many encounters with guests where clear verbal harassment took place. Comments have ranged from our personal lives to our ability to pour a beer or to explain how elements of our job work and how to do it better. We are constantly questioned on a daily basis. On many occasions, guests referred to my male colleague for basic questions which I would have been completely capable of answering, sometimes probably even better than them, just because they were a man.
Unlike my female colleagues, my male peers have rarely received comments or questions regarding their personal life or whether they’re able to use a cocktail shaker.
You may read this and laugh and think that’s a theoretical example. It’s not.
A few more recent examples have included:
- “Would you not rather he do it? You might not be strong enough to use the shaker” — Just last week, this comment was made to me by a guest when he saw me preparing his drink. I go to the gym 4 times a week. I can probably lift more than he can.
- “The only reason we let her help us is because she’s pretty with a cute accent” — Comment to a male co-worker after I had helped two guests find their way,
I could continue to give endless examples of the experiences that my female colleagues and myself have endured in the hospitality industry but it might make for a very long article.
What I want you to take away from my experience is that sexual harassment in the hospitality industry is still a big issue and it often goes unnoticed, as many prefer to accept that the experience of such situations is just “part of the job”.
When raising such issues to managers sometimes the response was “oh he was just being funny”.
When dealing with sexual harassment in the hospitality industry there is a thin line between making sure your job of taking care of the guest is achieved and putting boundaries in place to protect your well-being.
How can change be achieved in an industry where sexual harassment is hidden?
In order to put an end to sexual harassment in the hospitality industry a lot of change needs to happens internally as well as externally from society. The latter is a bit more complicated, as we know. It’s difficult to change the attitudes that have been embedded towards women in our society for a long time. In my view we need:
- More women in power. In order for change to be achieved within the hospitality industry, the gender disparity regarding positions of power must be addressed.
- Better reporting of sexual harassment. Reporting instances of sexual harassment, with tools that allow for anonymity and better resolution are paramount for preventing to sexual harassment.
- Improved training. How to deal with sexual harassment in the hospitality industry should be implemented in all companies. Such trainings should include tools to deal with experiences of sexual harassment whilst working and to learn how to achieve a balance between caring for the guests and respecting your own boundaries.
- Awareness. The most important aspect is raising awareness to this issue. Every single one of my female colleagues has experiences verbal sexual harassment compared to none of my male colleagues. As such, simply talking about it and bringing it to light is very important.
In my view, what is most shocking is that all of us have come to accept sexual harassment as an inherent issue within the hospitality industry. This might be because it is so common not only at work, but also in our daily lives that we have learnt to live with it. Our mentality around the issue must be changed.
