How To Give Away A Trillion Dollars
World’s richest man figures out a way
My phone pinged. It was Oswald. He wanted to meet me, his personal lawyer, and Richard, his money manager. ASAP.
Working for Oswald, the richest man in the world, had its perks, but it was a nuisance too. We had to drop everything and go to him whenever he called.
I took a quick shower and drove to Oswald’s mansion. Richard and Oswald were sitting in the large office room on the third floor. They both greeted me as I took the seat next to Richard.
Oswald didn’t waste any time. He said, “As you both know, I have been losing my battle with cancer. This morning, my doctor informed me I have only six months to live.”
As we sat there stunned, Oswald continued. “I did some thinking about what to do with my wealth. I’ve decided to give it away.”
“Sir, your net worth is about a trillion dollars,” reminded Richard.
“And I want to give away every penny of it,” said Oswald.
I said, “That’s very generous of you, sir. Do you want me to prepare a list of potential beneficiary organizations?”
“No, I don’t want to give my money to a bunch of organizations.” He paused and continued, “I want to give it to the entire world.”
Seeing the confusion on our faces, Oswald explained, “I want to give a small amount to every human being on earth. I want both of you to handle the distribution. You’ve four months.”
While Richard sat there silently, I spoke. “While it’s an extremly noble act, it’s a logistically complex, herculean operation. No one has ever distributed money at this global scale.”
“I know. I have full confidence in both of you to pull this off,” said Oswald.
I said, “It may be possible to send money to millions of bank accounts, but there are billions without a bank account. Reaching them would be almost impossible in this short time.”
Richard leaned forward and said, “Can I offer a simpler alternative, sir?”
“Sure, go ahead.”
“We want to give away a trillion dollars. All we have to do is remove that money out of circulation. As you know, adding money to circulation causes inflation which reduces the purchasing power of people. Removing money out of circulation results in the opposite effect. It’s called deflation which increases the purchasing power of people.”
Oswald asked, “So if we remove our trillion dollars out of circulation, it’s equivalent to giving money to every human being?”
“Yes.”
“And how do we remove it from the circulation? Can we burn it?”
“No, the law doesn’t allow it. We have to move the trillion dollars in cash to an undisclosed location and leave them locked in a massive underground bunker. No one should be able to open the bunker, including us.”
“Ok, let’s do it,” said a smiling Oswald.
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