On Super Tuesday We Polarize. I’m Trying to Remember That Not Everyone On The Other Side Has A Heart of Darkness.
As we head into the general election many more of us will start speaking our minds. If you think think the rhetoric of the politically minded is dominating your feed, just wait till your bubble shares a nearly singular opinion. Post primary season filter bubbles will normalize. We will rest comforted in knowing that we’re shouting along with friendlies. We will know our enemies and we’ll have the social tools to root them out. We’ll alienate that dissenting uncle at family dinner. He’ll go out for a smoke, engage in a screaming match or won’t show at all. You’ll unfriend, mute or block those harboring enemy opinions. The world will be at peace again. Until it’s not.
Personally, I am inclined to be angry at those who would support Donald Trump. They look to me to be angry at everyone that is not them, so why not react angrily at them? Today Trump supporters seem to be a Country away. On Wednesday they will likely show up on my wall, in my feed and possibly at dinner. We will polarize as we always do and some in the middle will surprise us with which pole repels them more.
I am preparing myself for this reality and this is how. In trying to listen to the other side I have only come to one tactic that works:
Hear what the other side is saying, but listen to why they are saying it.
In the current election cycle this empathy technique leads to a conclusion that we will be fighting each other to satisfy the same need at our core: Safety.
Maslow placed Personal security, Financial security, Health and well-being, and Safety net against accidents/illness and their adverse impacts all under the ‘safety’ slice of his primal pyramid. Look at the movements that have fueled Bernie Sanders’ AND Donald Trump’s campaigns and you will find politicians playing on these insecurities in an attempt to divide us.
Economic Insecurity
Economic insecurity is a core driver of both sides. The proposed solutions happen to be at odds with the ideals of the other pole, but this only happens because they are created by POLiticians. The right can leverage financial insecurity to make the movement about immigration. The left can leverage financial insecurity to make the movement about equal opportunity. While many of the politician’s end game occurs when they reach office, the general population does not achieve their end game until they too are financially secure.
Personal Safety
Personal safety is even easier to polarize. Guns make us more safe VS guns make us less safe. The rational amongst both sides polarize for the same reason: fear for their lives. In 21st century America there is no reason why personal safety for one side is mutually exclusive with personal safety of the other. While the solution that would satisfy both sides is one that results in personal safety, the next 6 months will try to convince us that what we are ultimately seeking is guns or no guns.
Health and Wellbeing has been polarized in the same way over the last four years. To the point where our national healthcare plan has been named after our President. While the President is proud of this and I would be too…it is f&*%ing ridiculous.
So I’m making a pledge to myself to try to listen to the other side out of my own selfish motivations. I am not disillusioned that this behavior is altruistic. I’m listening to the other side because I don’t want to spend the next six months and potentially 4 years angry. It will be better for my own health and wellbeing. I also believe the answer to satisfying these needs of safety lies somewhere in the middle. I don’t want to stop talking to the folks with a slightly different idea of how we get there, all because we were forced into a binary decision on election day.
When someone in your circle shows up on the other side don’t be surprised if it feels like the world’s gone mad. It has and it will for the next six months. The road back to sanity starts with listening to why the world has gone mad.
