The 1st GOP debate, as told by Shania Twain lyrics
Well, I missed the first GOP presidential debate last night because I put my cowboy boots on to go see Shania Twain in concert (hello, lifelong dream). It was everything I imagined it would be and more (obviously). Since I missed what I am sure was a show almost as rowdy as the Shania concert, I can only imagine what happened last night in the big showdown.
How I imagine the GOP presidential debate went down, as told by Shania Twain lyrics.
First, all 10 “varsity” candidates that actually made the debate take stage.
Looks like we made it, look how far we’ve come my baby.
(You’re Still the One, 1998)
John Kasich’s like:
Honey, I’m home (and I’ve had a hard day)
(Honey, I’m Home, 1997)
Trump’s all:
I’m goin’ out tonight, I’m feelin’ alright, gonna let it all hang out
Wanna make some noise, really raise my voice
Yeah I’m gonna scream and shout
No inhibitions, make no conditions
Get a little outta line
I ain’t gonna act politically correct
I only want to have a good time!
(Man I Feel Like a Woman, 1997)
Everyone else:
I’ve known a few guys who thought
they were pretty smart
But you’ve got being right down to an art
You think you’re a genius-you drive me up the wall
You’re a regular original, a know-it-all
Oh-oo-oh, you think you’re special
Oh-oo-oh, you think you’re something else
(That Don’t Impress Me Much, 1997)
And I heard Megyn Kelly was all about attacking the Donald for his women-bashing:
Man, I feel like a woman!
(Man I Feel Like a Woman, 1997)
While everyone’s trying to convince America they are the most dedicated to the job:
From this moment, I have been blessed
I live only, for your happiness
And for your love, I give my last breath
From this moment on
(From This Moment On, 1997)
Someone had to talk about the status of the United State’s economy, probably Marco Rubio:
We live in a greedy little world,
That teaches every little boy and girl
To earn as much as they can possibly,
Then turn around and
Spend it foolishly
(Ka-Ching!, 2002)
And you know Huckabee and Cruz were talking about the sanctity of life:
From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
(From This Moment On, 1997)
MEANWHILE those in the JV debate were watching, like:
I’m gonna getcha, it’s a matter of fact
(I’m gonna getcha)
I’m gonna getcha, don’tcha worry ‘bout that
(Yeah, you can betcha)
You can bet your bottom dollar, in time you’re gonna be mine
Just like I should — I’ll getcha good
(I’m Gonna Getcha Good, 2002)
And Jim Gilmore’s all:
Up — up — up —
Can only go up from here
Up — up — up — Up
where the clouds gonna clear
Up — up — up —
There’s no way but up from here
(Up!, 2002)
While my girl Carly proved to everyone:
She is a champion, she gets the gold
She’s a ballerina, the star of the show
She’s not just a pretty face
She’s got everything it takes
(She’s Not Just a Pretty Face, 2002)
In all — the 17 candidates (tried to) proved to everyone:
We’re gonna rock this country
We’re gonna rock this country
Every brown-eyed boy-every blue-eyed girl
Gotta really go psycho-give it a whirl
We’re gonna rock this country
Right out of this world
Ah-oo-na-na-na…
(Rock This Country, 1997)
America said:
Any (wo)man of mine better be proud of me
Even when I’m ugly he still better love me
(Any Man of Mine, 1995)
And Hills definitely watched, all:
That don’t impress me much.
(That Don’t Impress Me Much, 1997)
