Member-only story
Being Catcalled While With My Children in Broad Daylight
How I Learned Sexual Harassment Doesn’t End At Motherhood
The day a stranger catcalled me.
I always assume there’s goodness in everything and everyone.
That Pollyanna-like quality explains why I returned the stranger’s smile that day. With my toddler daughter tucked under my armpit and my two young sons by my side, I hobbled up the parking lot from my minivan to the door of the Jersey Mike’s. My kids whined about their hunger, but I ignored them and focused on making it to the entrance.
From his place at a table under the patio outside Jersey Mike’s, he locked eyes with mine. I thought he smiled out of empathy. He, too, had small children.
He, too, knew what it was like to walk into an eatery painted with embarrassment, gripping your small child’s hand in your own as they screamed for you to let them go.
I wasn’t wrong to smile back. I’ve told that to myself on many occasions — one day, I might even believe it.
He ran his hand along the brown stubble growing on his chin.
“I like your dress. You are beautiful,” he said. The words rolled off his tongue uninhibited like I had invited them to be said.
Caught off guard, I stopped walking. He stared at me intently. My daughter pulled down the top of my black dress, trying to free herself from my grip.
“Momma,” she yelled.
I tugged my top back up, mindful of the cleavage I hadn’t meant to display. Did I know him? I wondered. Is that why he spoke so colloquially?
He said it again. “You’re beautiful. So beautiful.”
I scanned his face, confirming he was indeed a stranger. Not one to be silent, I found my tongue tied in knots. Was this insulting? In the past, old men had made such comments, which I took with a grain of salt. They had meant it to be sweet. But this felt different. With sun-crisped and wrinkle-free skin, he looked about my age.
Was he trying to be nice, and I was misconstruing? I was a heavyset mom of three kids, six and under. Did he think I needed his validation? What did my children…
