Member-only story
Did I Skip Menopause?
Maybe I just … forgot.
My mother went through “the change” like this:
Me (on my way out): Mother, do you need anything from the store?
Mother: I’m out of tampons.
Me: Okay, I’ll grab some.
Mother: Well, actually, I don’t think I’ve had a cycle in about a year. (pause) Hmmm. Never mind buying any. I guess I’m done!
Still, I’d heard stories. Friends who were struck down by night fevers and migraines. Co-workers losing files or bursting into tears, and blaming those damn hormones. I was dreading it.
But two years ago, at 60, I was still waiting for the most common symptoms to appear. Like my mother, I no longer needed the tampons, but …
Hot flashes, night sweats, chills? Not a one.
Mood swings, irritability, short temper? Well, hell. Haven’t I always been moody, irritable, and short-tempered? Who can tell the difference?
Distractible? Since age 19, I’ve had six college majors, five different careers, eleventy-billion apartments in two dozen cities, three husbands (who each had to paint my various kitchens a new color every six months), and mementos from trips to 42 states and 16 countries. Define distractible.
