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Hearing From the Herons Again.
Finding stillness and listening
This morning, I went on a walk an hour later than I normally do. I saw one, two, three Great Blue Herons, sitting on rocks close to the shore. I’ve never seen them so exposed and close to the pedestrian path along the lake.
Part of the reason I got started walking later this morning is because my partner and I were processing a few recent interactions. We are in one of the best periods of our relationship in many years. Conflict is a minimum and we are very connected and deeply attuned to one another. But in the last week or so, we’ve had a smattering of exchanges that felt old and familiar and not healthy.
No matter how many times we practice, addressing conflict is challenging. Working through our different perspectives of the same experience is hard every time. Conflict puts me into one of three states. The least frequent and the one I continue to aspire to is the state where I manage my discomfort and stay the course of a calm, rational conversation. My more common response and the one I’m most motivated to change is the one where, with conflict, I’m catapulted into fight mode. The third stage is complete shut down.
My partner has her own coping mechanisms that she’s navigating. We’re both working hard to be in the discomfort and hear one another.
