Holidays While in the Middle of Living and Grieving
Having a complicated Mother’s Day
Last Sunday was my 21st Mother’s Day as a mother. It was also my first Mother’s Day without my mother. It is hard to describe what this feels like—having your family celebrate you when you do not necessarily feel like celebrating.
It is ok that a holiday is not ok
I became an orphan at the end of June last year. Since the birth of my son, I have called my mom on Mother’s Day but have spent the day with my husband and son doing our celebrating. I would give my mom her present the next time I saw her.
But by 2020, Mom’s Alzheimer’s had progressed to a point that made phone conversations difficult. My stepdad needed frequent help with her, so we were not distancing for COVID. All the restaurants were closed, so instead of going out with my husband and son, I went to see my mom. While driving home, I called my stepmom to say Happy Mother’s Day.
She told me that I needed to come to the house. My dad, who had been diagnosed with cancer six months before, needed to go to the hospital. He would not go until he saw me, and even then, she was unsure. She needed my help to convince him.
So, I turned the car around to go to their house. It was the last time I saw…
