How Revisiting My Mother’s Past Helped Me Embrace the Uncertainty of My Future
A story about how hidden resentment was poisoning my life
We never truly understand our parents until life confronts us with the same choices, obstacles, and doubts our parents had to contend with.
As I dive deep into my thirties and the enigma of motherhood and the end of the fertile period of my life stand before me, I find myself thinking about the silly teenage angst that almost drove my parents insane.
As life baths me with hard choices, I feel my parent’s love stretching from the early days of my childhood. Most days, their love and sacrifices still guide me in the quest to find my true self and my real place in this world.
But no child has the perfect relationship with her parents. Often, memories of our childhood are stained by our parents’ mistakes. And those mistakes can turn us into resenting and emotionally disconnected adults.
It took me long to realize this because the type of resentment I harbored was insidious. It hid in the little things, and spread silently within my subconscious mind, polluting my thoughts and the words I choose to express them with. For the longest time, I never realized it was even there.
