It’s Sister’s Day Today
My sisters and I no longer speak to each other
Yep, that’s right. I have two sisters and we have not spoken to each other in nine years.
I will begin with the power of healing! Yes, I have spent the last nine years healing from my sad and dysfunctional childhood and my marriage that ended in 2015.
What I have learned about healing is that we never stop healing. Life is full of lessons that turn into blessings. We will only get some things done in this lifetime as it is about the journey rather than the destination.
We four gals grew up together in a home where our mother had to work two jobs to care for us because our father decided he was too good-looking to be married and moved back into his childhood home with his parents, leaving us to fend for ourselves. My sisters and I became latchkey kids.
We eventually left North Carolina to return to California where we had some family support. Our mother met a man and got married, further mentally and emotionally driving us apart. The three of us girls found attention in the male persuasion, too, and went off in different directions. We each sought love in the wrong places instead of becoming stronger in our stance within ourselves.
Suddenly, our mother passed away in her sleep in 2007. While this briefly brought us together, it lasted until my divorce seven years later.
Somehow, my sisters made my misfortune about themselves. My middle sister punished me verbally for becoming homeless with my children after my divorce. When we finally were able to acquire a roof over our heads, she simply stopped responding to my calls, texts, and emails. She thought I should have prepared better so this would not have happened.
My youngest sister expected me to give her all of the gory details of my divorce. “How much did you get?” She fell apart on me when she found out we were living in a hotel, yet could not do anything to help us. “Think about how this looks!” “What are you guys going to do?”
Here are my pearls.
Don’t wait until the last minute to talk about the end of life with your loved ones. Speaking openly and honestly will only bring you closer. Also, put your wishes in writing and have them properly notarized. Our stepfather lived the remainder of his life on our inheritance, denying us any part of our mother.
Be mindful of how you speak of your spouse when they are not around. Do not share intimate details when the other is not there to defend themselves. This only clouds the opinions of said audience. In other words, don’t tell your family about all of the discord, and negativity going on in your marriage. Seek a therapist instead.
Moving back here to California to live with our Grandmother was our time for healing. In my mother’s defense, she had three little girls to raise along with herself and we were starting over. Life was hard.
When we come here to live this human life, we’ve already picked our roles. I have a mental picture of being in an airplane with everyone getting ready to jump off and when it is time, the Divine takes away our parachutes causing us to hit the ground hard and we have to pick the pieces of ourselves up and figure out what the hell we’re going to do next.
My sisters’ deciding to divest themselves of me and my kids after my divorce was all about them and not me.
The healing my two kids and I have undergone has been monumental. We’ve spent the last nine years realizing our part in our roles in this life. This has caused us tremendous self-love and unconditional love for each other.
No, I’m not in another relationship. I’m busy perfecting myself.
All of you who have sisters be sure to cherish them and what they bring to your lives. And, you are fortunate enough to have a sister in your life means they are beautiful individually as well as a compliment to you and your life.
