Kicking a Teddy Bear Helped My Emotional Pain

How I healed my spirit when I couldn’t cope anymore.

The small teddy bear I threw across the room, photo by author

Six dinner guests were due to arrive at my home within an hour. I was so exhausted that, even though I wasn’t close to ready for them, I sat down on my couch to rest.

But then I couldn’t seem to get back up. I felt worn out, grumpy, and a bit sick. Fatigue had pushed me over the edge of my fragile coping skills and left me drained.

I knew I wasn’t physically sick. I was experiencing emotional pain.

This pain first showed up when I was recovering from breast cancer surgery. And while doctors tell us not to do “too much,” they never hand us an energy alarm that warns us when we’re getting close to our limit.

Fortunately, once I’d rested a bit, the symptoms let up. When my guests arrived, I greeted them at the door and served them the meal I had prepared.

It wasn’t over

Even though I felt better the next day, I apparently wasn’t over my emotional pain.

Halfway through our Sunday morning church service, I started crying and couldn’t stop. My husband leaned over and said, “Shall we leave?” I nodded yes, and we quietly walked out of the church.