Lost in Estrangement: Re-discovering Jo

Sometimes the most hushed of words are the most painful to hear

We are enough as we are (Author’s Artwork)

(Caution: This article is about estrangement and may be triggering to some.)

While approaching the grand age of half a century, I never thought that the word “estrangement” would ever find a place in my vocabulary.

Yet, here I am, grappling with the effects and feelings of this word, a word often whispered in hushed tones but has the power to turn our lives upside down and scream pain.

To add a little context and give you an idea of why this sadness occurred, it all starts back in early childhood. You see, I’m the eldest of four girls born into a military family.

My teen years were rough.

I left home very early at sixteen. From there, I encountered a lot of pain in my life. Meanwhile, my sisters developed a tight bond holding them together. Unfortunately, that bond did not include me. In fact, ours was an ugly relationship fed with hate and blame.

When the rift between my siblings first appeared, it felt like a sudden storm leaving me bewildered, questioning my worth, and desperately seeking answers to the unspoken questions that haunted me – and still do.

Why did this happen? Could I…