Medical Gaslighting Left Me in Excruciating Pain, and Seriously Ill

Why are we still not taken seriously in healthcare settings?

Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

My reluctance to seek help when I was in severe pain wasn’t down to stubbornness or a dislike of hospitals. As a person assigned female at birth and outwardly presenting as such, it was the fear that my pain would not be taken seriously.

I’m not alone here; research consistently demonstrates that women receive substandard treatment for pain, compared to men, due to gender stereotypes. Women are perceived to be too emotional in how they express pain and, therefore, must be exaggerating.

I was listed for surgery after the less invasive kidney stone treatment I received failed to break up my 8mm pebble. I had no symptoms until a month later when the darn thing decided to move.

Waking up in agony one morning, I was worried. Then the pain subsided and came back again and again. Waves of stabbing pain in my side that lasted 20 minutes to an hour stopped me from doing most things. As a healthcare professional and someone well-briefed from my failed treatment, I knew straight away what the pain was.

I convinced myself that I wouldn’t need the planned surgery now. This rock would make a dramatic exit — at least, that’s what I had…