Member-only story
Relationship 101: Figuring Out Where You End and the Other Person Begins
It’s hard to remember in the heat of the moment. Here’s how.
My Almost-Terrible (and Unnecessary) Argument
“Shelly* is ordering two copies of my new book!” I say, walking into the kitchen where my partner is marinating salmon.
* The name has been changed; everything else is true.
“Don’t trust her.” Not the response I expected.
“Did you hear what I said?” I jump in. “Were you even listening? Or couldn’t you hear me?” (The last question, a poison arrow.)
“I heard you. I don’t trust anything Shelly says.”
“That is so NOT the point,” I say with more than a tinge of annoyance.
Luckily, I have to pee, so I stop the conversation before it veers into a full-blown argument. But I am already angry. Unkind thoughts zip through my mind. She doesn’t listen. She’s doesn’t realize how important my book is. She…. she… she….
The Committee — the critical voices of everyone I’ve ever known — is in session, making a case, judging, assuming, disregarding the good. You probably have a committee, too.
