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She Didn’t Have to Ghost Me

A simple ‘no’ would have been better

Christine Schoenwald
Middle-Pause
6 min readDec 22, 2024

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A woman with light brown hair is wrapped in a sweater and sitting cross-legged on a wooden bench.
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Age has made me resilient. Now, I don’t take everything personally, and it’s much easier to move on rather than ruminate on every slight. If a friend disappoints me or life doesn’t go my way, I regroup and put my focus elsewhere.

People will do what they want, and it's not a big deal if it doesn’t align with me. I’m the one responsible for my reactions and behaviors.

Recently, a friend from high school cast a negative air on what should have been a pleasant reunion.

Why friends are valuable to me

I don’t have much immediate family, and three-quarters of that family are Jehovah’s Witnesses, of which I’m not. So, immediately, there’s a wall between us. We work around this religious barrier, but it’s always solidly there, preventing us from being close.

Because of this familial barrier, I’ve always prioritized my friends and take friendship seriously. Family doesn’t come first for me unless you’re talking about my boyfriend, Andy, and our cats.

Strong friendships require work and awareness. You must consistently put in as much effort in an old relationship as you would in a new one. Many people don’t realize this and are surprised when their friendships fizzle out…

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Christine Schoenwald
Christine Schoenwald

Written by Christine Schoenwald

Writer for The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Next Avenue, Business Insider, and Your Tango Christineschoenwaldwriter.com

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