The Day I Started Feeling Like One of Those Older Ladies

Middle-age is weird

Michelle Marie Warner
Middle-Pause

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AI-generated image of a middle-aged white woman with long, wind-blown gray hair, tan skin, high cheekbones and wrinkles on her face and neck. There’s a galaxy and rainbow behind her.
AI-generated Photo by ArtSpark on Pixabay

My elders neglected to inform me that being a middle-aged woman feels like adolescence. My hormones are all over the place, causing a mountain of anxiety one minute and a waterfall of depression the next. I’m not always in control of my mind.

My body is also slowing down. I’m not sure how I feel about it.

Yesterday morning, I felt unstoppable and twenty years younger. That’s because it was my 52nd birthday and still early. I slept through the night, meditated, walked, and did yoga, all of which helped me conquer my day.

After sundown, however, I can turn into a grumpy old lady, even under the best circumstances. Although I recently asserted that I feel younger than my chronological age, I do feel older in some ways and on some days. I was sleepy by evening and in bed by 10:30. I had a juicy novel to keep me awake, or I would’ve gone to bed earlier.

I’m more sensitive to change than ever. If I wake at 4 AM and can’t fall back asleep right away, eight collective hours of rest won’t be enough to stop me from grumbling or crying over burnt toast and being generally unhappy all day.

I act like my 12-year-old who’s hitting puberty.

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Michelle Marie Warner
Middle-Pause

Writer of all things personal, socially conscious, sensitive, single LGBTQIA+ mom. Ready to bite off more than I've been chewing. michellewarner718@gmail.com