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LIFE LESSONS | MIDLIFE | WOMEN
What It Means to Be an Unmarried Woman in Her 40s with No Kids
Hint: it’s not random trips to Paris and champagne at the spa
*This essay has been republished by YourTango.com
I turned 41 years old this year, and for the first time, I felt a shift.
It wasn’t overt; in fact, it was deeply subversive. Small things, like fewer doors held for me as I walk into department stores. Or the water cooler chats at work about kids going to college or wedding anniversaries — conversations in which I cannot participate.
It’s the articles I see about how hard mothers work and why they, therefore, deserve a break, while the only commentaries from childfree and unmarried women lament about the freedom in their lives, both time and money-wise.
My experience has been none of that.
As a newly minted middle-aged woman, I don’t have children. I’ve also never been married, although I’m not single. In fact, I’ve been in a committed relationship for over a decade. Nonetheless, my life is not what society considers typical for a woman my age.
In media, books, and stories, I find that middle-aged women are portrayed as either married or…
