When Neurodivergence Collides With Middle Age
The reckoning and profound transformation that I didn’t see coming
The face of ADHD and autism is no longer the stereotypical uncontrollable or strange little boy. As more of us discover our neurodivergence later in life, it’s just as likely to belong to a middle-aged woman.
She could be anyone: your friend, sister, colleague or neighbor. She’s been hiding in plain sight, even from herself. Neurodivergence is as diverse as humanity itself and often doesn’t match the picture in people’s minds.
The discovery may have come via her child’s diagnosis or maybe she found herself in front of a psychologist after a relationship, work, or some other personal crisis.
She may have woken up one morning unable to get out of bed, so burnt out she could barely function. Or perhaps she just happened to find the space to start making sense of her messy life.
What these women have in common is having lived decades cut off from themselves. Surviving in a neurotypical world has meant suppressing who they really are. Without even realizing it, they’ve been performing a version of themselves that has become their reality as they bury their real selves.
