33: My Golden Age
What I know at 33, that I wish I had known earlier
I didn’t realize that age 33 held any more significance than the year preceding it until a conversation I had with my cousin who told me that, in Islam, everyone enters Heaven at 33. Christians too believe that the righteous spend eternity in Heaven aged 33.
But why? Some say it is because Jesus died at 33, while others say it’s because 33 is when we reach our physical and intellectual peaks. Research has found that age 33 is apparently also when we are happiest.
Naturally, I felt a weight of expectation as this pivotal birthday arrived. As the age in which our physical, emotional, and intellectual prowess converge to reach their peaks, I thought turning 33 would surely be significant for me — it was never going to get better than this after all, according to the studies at least!
So, I was disappointed when 33 felt no different to 32.
Some reflection was needed. Surely by the age of 33, I must have reached the summit of something? After 33 trips around the sun, my mindset couldn’t be stagnant, could it? After some thought, I realized that of course it wasn’t! There are so many things that I take for granted now, that I wish I could go back in time and whisper in the ear of my younger self.
So here is what I know now, that I wish I had known earlier:
● You will never truly know what is going on inside someone else’s mind, so don’t spend time worrying about what other people think of you.
● Don’t be so hard on yourself. We all do things we later regret. Don’t overanalyze the whys and the hows- learn your lesson and move on.
● It’s OK to put yourself first sometimes. This can be hard, but it is OK to do something just for yourself from time to time and when you do, relish it!
● Be proud of the little wins! Have you spoken up in a meeting that you’d usually shy away from speaking in? Have you been patient at a time when you’d usually lose your temper? Pat yourself on the back!
● Be proud of the big wins too! It is never good to brag, but there is nothing wrong with fully embracing how happy you are that you managed to get on the property ladder or that you got the promotion you’ve been dreaming of.
● Don’t compare yourself to other people. When you feel your mind starting to fall down a rabbit hole of judging yourself negatively against the achievements of someone else, remember that, as Theodore Roosevelt once said: comparison is the thief of joy.
● Live in the present. It is easier said than done, but training your mind to focus as much as possible on what is happening right now is an amazing way to cut out a lot of the worry and anxiety that comes from allowing your thoughts to stray into an abyss of questions and concerns.
● Allow yourself to be open to critique. You will never achieve anything if you fear putting yourself out there. How would you feel if you didn’t at least attempt to realize your dreams and aspirations because you feared what people would say or think?
● Look closely at the little things: the beauty of sunbeams streaming through the window or the leaves gently swaying in the breeze. There are lots of wonderful things to see if you take the time to look at them.
● Don’t live too much in your head. It is easy to get lost in a fantasy world of what you want your life to look like, but if you don’t put those dreams into action, you’ll blink and years will have gone by with no progress.
● Be happy about the things you have done — don’t focus too much on the things you haven’t. Need to clean the house but only got around to cleaning the kitchen? The fact you now have a spotless kitchen should be your focal point. Being too hard on yourself for the things you didn’t do will make the tasks you still have left to complete feel a lot more daunting!
● See the beauty in aging. Don’t lament physical changes- realize that your beauty doesn’t diminish but simply changes as you get older.
● Lastly, give people a chance. Remember “Most people are [nice]…when you finally see them”.
Key Message: With life experience comes a wealth of knowledge which, when implemented, can help us to live more successful and happy lives.
