Choose Your Handle

A Stoic Strategy for Turning Frustrations into Opportunities

37xBetter
Midform
Published in
2 min readDec 11, 2024

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Photo by Clem Onojeghuo on Unsplash

Ever notice how we grab our coffee mugs? There’s usually more than one way to pick them up, right? Some days you’ll use the handle, other days you might cup it with both hands.

Epictetus, that wise old Stoic, noticed this too. “Everything has two handles,” he said, though I doubt he was talking about coffee mugs.

He was getting at something far more profound about human nature: we always have a choice in how we grasp the situations life presents us.

He had this great example: imagine your brother has wronged you. You can grab this situation by the “opponent” handle — focusing on the injury, the unfairness, and the conflict. Or you can grab it by the “brother” handle — remembering this is the same person who grew up with you, who shares your blood and history.

Same situation, a completely different story, depending on which handle you choose to grab.

Every situation we encounter comes with these invisible handles, these different ways of grasping what’s happening to us.

The magic happens when you realize you get to choose which handle to grab:

  • That delayed flight? Frustration handle or bonus reading time handle
  • Feedback on your work? Attack handle or growth opportunity handle
  • Traffic jam? Stress handle or podcast catch-up handle

This isn’t about forcing yourself to be annoyingly positive all the time. It’s about recognizing that our initial grip on a situation isn’t the only option available to us.

Key Message: When you find yourself holding the handle of frustration, remember: there’s always another handle there, waiting.

The question is: which one will you choose to grab?

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Midform
Midform

Published in Midform

Midform: Occupying that sweet middle spot between short & long form writing — 3 to 4 minute reads of 900 words or less — always with a key message at the end.

37xBetter
37xBetter

Written by 37xBetter

Driven to Learn. Driven to Improve. Driven to Share. Excel and Personal Finance enthusiast.

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