On tears.
it’s funny.
I thought I would eat my feelings tonight instead of crying.
¿Por qué no los dos?
It was a great idea to kick off my 10th year of Pelotonia fundraising by re-reading the posts my teammates and I have written over the years.
If the camera was recording, it first looked like a face of angst. Then a quiet sob inward.
Scrolled to a different one. More tears. Flipped to see the index of over a dozen of posts that expose our raw hearts. For a moment I am filled with awe of this group’s strength in pain.
Then I flip back to my very first post. Ugly tears. Ugh.
Something about this evening has me back in my mind castle of memories.
To the awe-inspiring writing of one of the baddest fighters in my sphere. The humor in every single molecule of his existence. I wept for him the other night, too.
I cried for the pain of loss. I cried for the people closer to him than I. And I cried in gratitude for knowing there is an atom of one of his jokes floating in every breath the sky holds. He’s laughing right now, in the salty liquid streaming down my face.
Is it better to type or dictate when you’re crying?
I muse for a moment that my sample size is getting larger by the day. I know there will be more where these came from.
More battles to fight. More hills to climb. In my heart and with my body.
I’m not done until our work is finished.
https://www.pelotonia.org/oddi
