The Inner Child Vs The Outer Adult

Within each of us is a version of ourselves that is both a child an adult.

The child exists deep within. The child in you wants to come out and play. He doesn’t care about expectations and responsibilities. All he cares about is having fun and being in the present moment. He’s a cheeky little thing when he comes out of hiding and says pick me! He can’t help but put a smile on your face and make you feel a little freer. A little less restricted.

The adult is the part of you that lives closer to the surface. He sees things a little differently. He’s concerned with what others think of him and is always planning for the future. He feels the burden of life’s responsibilities on his shoulders and often. That burden can feel extremely heavy.

The question is, can both versions of you co-exist? And how do you nurture both?

Life is full of responsibilities and obligations. The problem is, as life goes on we seem to accumulate more and more of them. They just keep growing. You buy your first car, get married, buy your first home, and take on a mortgage for the next 30 years of your life. Then you have kids, take on greater responsibility at work, and before you know it, you can feel like you’re the Greek god Atlas with the weight of the world on your shoulders.

In the end, you become more and more leveraged. More and more in demand. As your outer adult shoulders these responsibilities, the child in you becomes frightened. The inner child retreats further into you, hiding because what you’re facing out there in the big, wide world is intimidating and scary.

What does the inner child need to hear? He needs to hear it’s ok to come out every so often. He can come and play in this scary-looking world because he knows you will look after him. He knows you will make sure nothing bad happens to him. When he can trust you’ll protect him, he’s free to be his playful, joyful self again.

So, how often do you take the time to make your inner-child feel safe?

Probably not as often as you would like. And why is that?

Well, those responsibilities and those obligations don’t often take a holiday. They don’t stop for long enough for you to shift your attention to what’s happening within. They’re constantly demanding more of you.

If you choose to let your inner-child out to play, it likely means you’re going to need to ask the world to put those demands on hold for a minute while you do. That might mean sacrificing an opportunity, pushing back a deadline, or letting go of a dream.

You need to make a choice — which is more important to you? Achieving the goal or sitting on the swing in the playground, watching the world pass you by and laughing while you’re at it. Both have their pros and cons. Both have trade-offs. This is the dichotomy. You can’t have everything. So, you’ve got to choose.

Let me know in the comments below — what things to do you do to embrace your inner child and escape the seriousness of adulthood?