Can we be a Better Conversation Partner?

Yes, the denomination weren’t as included in Jubilee’s conversations as we’d wish. That said, what if instead of acting against them, we looked at ourselves & searched for ways to be an even better conversation partner for Jubilee, &/or any MB Church exploring how they’d apply our statement of faith to LGB &/or transgender peoples in their midst?

I’m a parent of a transgender son who attends an Mennonite Brethren Church so I have dug into the materials our National Faith & Life Team (NFLT) have created and searched for language expressing how our MB faith statement could be applied to my son.

I found our “Loving Well Resource”, a guide to walking with the queer community, but was disappointed as I was looking for something speaking to trans identities. A two-year-old footnote acknowledges this oversight but it’s a two year old footnote. To be, still without direction two years later is not good enough. People who are working to love the queer community well need more from us as their conversation partner.

I found our NFLT Resource Related to Bill C-4 & read through that. I didn’t read the document because I’m actually considering conversion therapy, but because I’ve been left to grasp at straws here. This part jumped out at me

“We remain committed to our biblical convictions around sexual faithfulness, gender expression, and faithful discipleship…”

I’d been searching & searching for something from the denomination which speaks to trans identities, so to see a reference to biblical convictions around gender expression was exciting, even though those convictions were not spelled out. I’ve looked to scripture and found it has as much to say GPS use in autos as it has to say about being trans, so it was encouraging to know that thse matters had been discerned by our those who our denomination have been gifted to serve in this way.

I reached out to the NFLT asking for a resource which explains what our biblical convictions around gender expression are and was told that they could not provide any official response to my question and that an official document on gender, birth sex, and gender identity had not been written .

People doing the honest work to struggle with these ideas need more than that from their conversation partner. Good conversation partners do not make references to biblical convictions around gender expression when the work to put language to those convictions hasn’t even been done.

As a parent of a trans son I’d really like to know where my denomination’s at here. When the MB Church extend a welcoming invitation to this member of the queer community are they speaking with my trans son in mind, or are they referring to an imaginary daughter who’s experiencing gender dysphoria? These distinctions matter & until we’re able to be clear how can we even use welcoming language in a responsible way?

We’re holding Jubilee to article 11 of our confession, an article which defines marriage as a covenant relationship between a man and a woman for life, yet when I have sought direct answers form our NFLT regarding the specifics on what we mean by “man” or “woman” in the context of transgender idendities, they are unable to respond.

In a letter to our delegates, we are told that our denomination would like Jubilee to join our “… work of reducing marginalization and harm to LQBTQ+ persons”. If asked for specifics on what we actually mean by trans when we casually use the LQBTQ+ acronym would we be able to respond? We are a denomination with “biblical convictions around gender expression” who are not able to officially articulate them. Being clear about what we mean when we use the word trans should be considered a bare minimum, and being unable to offer even that to Jubilee isn’t good enough. We need to be better.

Rather than react to this situation with Jubilee’s eviction, I would prefer that we react by looking inward. After finding & stepping into opportunities to become better conversation partners, we will be better able to love each other well as we grapple with the discussions ahead. Jubilee can help us here, especially so if they are within our family. Let’s stop looking into Jubilee’s eyes for specks, & let’s start looking at ourselves before judging others.

Thanks for listening.